Her Own Little Piece Of Lovely
by Skylair Hernandez
Summary: Set after Death Bringer. Tanith is back and they get the remnant out of her but Valkyrie has a big problem, she's pregnant and Darquesse has a plan but what is it? Fletchyrie, Ghanith, Valith, Valduggery, not a very good summary please read and review
1. Chapter 1

**Hey so this is my first fanfic. I hope you enjoy it, please review :D **

Darquesse smiled. She could feel his heartbeat. His breath was hot on her neck, his chest raised and fell in a steady rhythm under her hands. His chest mas muscled, he had a six pack, and Darquesse liked it. But she could tell that he was still not sure about what they were doing, fortunately for Darquesse their bodies were so intertwined that pulling away would be difficult for him.

Fletcher suddenly tried to pull away, quickly saying, "Val, I'm sorry but we don't go out any more. This is wrong and I can't do it. We broke up because you cheated on me, remember? You called me saying we had to talk, and now we're shagging each other. It's just not right. I've got to go now Val, sorry." Darquesse was not best pleased, he still thought she was Valkyrie. "Fletcher, I'm Darquesse, not Valkyrie. Valkyrie is gone for now but she will arise again shortly. But for now it's just you and me." Fletcher looked scared but quickly redeemed himself. "I'm not sure I understand. So you are Darquesse but you look like Valkyrie, how?" Darquesse sighed, she was tempted to give Valkyrie her mind back but couldn't yet, she had a plan that she intended to stick to. "I'm part of Valkyrie's subconscious. You don't need to worry about that though. You were enjoying yourself." Fletcher knew he had been enjoying himself, but he still felt bad about it. "So you're basically saying I'm shagging Valkyrie but she doesn't know, does that count as rape?" Darquesse wondered if she should have chosen Caelan, a vampire would have made this more interesting and he would have been more willing. "No, Fletcher this does not count as rape because Valkyrie is still conscious, she knows what's happening. But I'm in control though I could tell you that she's enjoying it too, if that helps."

Once Darquesse knew that she had Fletcher where she wanted him, she let Valkyrie come back.

**I'm not really sure what that was. It's also awkward for me to write this because I'm only 13, that's why it's not very long – please review**


	2. Chapter 2

_CHAPTER 2:_

Valkyrie sighed and blinked. She looked around, then it all came flooding back to her. She let out a muffled scream and jumped to her feet, panicky detangling herself from Fletcher. "Oh my god. Fletch I'm so sorry." She couldn't help it, she started to cry. Fletcher now understood, he picked up a blanket and gently wrapped it around Valkyrie. He looks around her room, found his underpants hanging on the lamp. He put them on and looked at Valkyrie; she looked back at him and gave him a watery smile. "What?" Fletcher was confused, why would she be smiling. "You j-just put t-them on back t-to front."

Fletcher tidied Valkyrie's room while she was in the shower. He wondered what would happen to him if Skulduggery found out about this. He considered asking Val to keep it a secret. He found his T-shirt ripped to shreds, it was his favourite one and he was going to miss is but not as much as he was going to miss his head when Skulduggery discovered what he had done with Valkyrie.

Valkyrie came back into her room and found Fletcher sitting on the couch, she sat beside him. Fletcher put his arm around her and pulled her closer to him. "Fletch, you've still got no top on." He kicked the pile of blue rags into the bin and looked at Val. "Oh" She said, "I'll get you something to wear." She got up and opened her wardrobe; she pulled out a plain black top that always hung off her. "You can keep it if you like." Fletcher pulled it on over his head and touched his hair experimentally. It was a mess.

Valkyrie cuddled into him and soon cried herself to sleep. Fletcher decided not to teleport away and he fell asleep not long after putting a blanket around Valkyrie.

**Not much happened in that chapter, the next one will be more exiting :DD**


	3. Chapter 3

_CHAPTER 3:_

Valkyrie had her head down, looking at the floor as she followed Skulduggery through the sanctuary. She was lagging behind and she hadn't said a word to Skulduggery all day, he knew something was wrong with her.

They arrived at Ghastly's office late because of Valkyrie's slow walking. Skulduggery offered her the chair but she sat on the floor with her back against the wall and her head down. Ghastly watched her for a couple of seconds before addressing Skulduggery angrily, "What's up with Val, how does she know about it?" Valkyrie raised her head, "Know about what?" Ghastly looked confused, he questioned Skulduggery again, "If she doesn't know then why is she so upset?" Skulduggery gave a slight shrug, he watched Valkyrie closely for a minute. "I don't know. She hasn't spoken to me all day, if you tell her she might cheer up, though."

Ghastly cleared his throat loudly before speaking. "Tanith has been located and taken into custody in the American sanctuary and she will be being transferred to our gaol until we find a way to rid her of the remnant." He smiled to himself. Valkyrie took a minute to digest the information, they had Tanith. "How is she going to get here?" Ghastly pretended to consider this for a moment, probably deciding the best way to say it. "We are going to collect her and bring her here ourselves." Skulduggery nodded slowly, deep in thought, "You mean we are going to America? It's the only place in the world I have never been, this should be interesting, to say the least."

**I really don't know whether to write a bit of the journey of not, so maybe I'll just put in a paragraph. It'll probably end up being longer than that though :L**


	4. Chapter 4

_CHAPTER 4:_

Valkyrie sat on Fletcher's knee on the plane, gazing out the window. He tapped her on the shoulder to ask if she wasted anything to eat or drink, she shook her head. Fletcher gently slipped out from under her and walked off in the direction of the toilets.

Valkyrie sighed and looked up as Ghastly came and sat beside her. "What's up Val? I thought you would be happy to get Tanith back." Valkyrie looked at Ghastly, "I am happy to get Tanith back, it's just..." She broke off in mid-sentence and stared at the window again. "It's just what, Val? And when was the last time you ate? What's wrong with you Val, is it the Darquesse thing? You should talk to Skulduggery, he can help, why aren't you talking to him?" She blinked and tried to take it all in, Ghastly was upset, about her. "One question at a time please! And yeah it's sort of the Darquesse thing, but if I tell you then you have to promise not to tell Skulduggery."

"Darquesse came out again the other night, but she called Fletcher and ended up having sex with him, then she let me come back after. I really don't know why, I'm scared." Ghastly's mouth opened slightly, he looked like he was trying to speak but couldn't. "You. Darquesse. Fletcher. Make out. Threesome." Valkyrie's temper flared. "No! No! No! Just no! It was not a bloody threesome! You sick, disgusting little man! No way!" Fletcher appeared at the door with a giant plate of food, mouth open, "You told him!"

Valkyrie explained the whole thing to Ghastly while Fletcher ran away to get tomato ketchup. Ghastly was sympathetic to Valkyrie, offering advice (telling her to talk to Skulduggery).

When Ghastly was gone Fletcher breathed out a sigh of relief, "He wasn't mad at me." Valkyrie smiled and ate the food he had bought for her.

**Chapters are really short and quite boring; I'll try to make the next one funnier :S**


	5. Chapter 5

_CHAPTER 5:_

Fletcher gently brushed Valkyrie's fringe from her face, her eyes were closed and she was smiling. "Hey, why did you stop? I'm still hungry." Fletcher pulled the picnic rug from under her and placed it about two metres further away from the water. "We're about to get soaked, the tide's rising." Valkyrie peeked around Fletcher's shoulder at the water, it was creeping further up the beach. She looked around, the sand was white, and the sea was a light turquoise colour.

She put her sunglasses back on and opened her mouth. Fletcher grinned and put a chocolate coated strawberry on her tongue. Someone cleared their throat loudly behind them and Valkyrie opened her eyes. Ghastly and Skulduggery peered down at them. "Guess this means that you guys are back together, huh?" Fletcher blushed and Valkyrie nodded once. "It's time to go and get Tanith, everything's organized and ready. I hope we didn't disturb anything important. I'd be careful if I were you Fletcher, Skulduggery might get jealous." Ghastly winked and walked away, smiling to himself.

**I wanted to put more detail into that one but I was rushed :l**


	6. Chapter 6

_CHAPTER 6: _

Valkyrie followed Skulduggery through the dimly-lit corridors of the American sanctuary, it smelled strongly of disinfectant and urine in some parts. Soon they came to a cage, it was taller than Valkyrie and about a metre wide, she couldn't see in but she knew Tanith was in there. Mostly because of the cursing and yelling she could hear.

Skulduggery walked into a meeting room and Ghastly followed. Valkyrie considered spying but realised that she didn't want to. She walked up to the cage, "Hey, Tanith? Can you hear me?" The cursing stopped. "Valkyrie? Can you get me out of here?" Valkyrie glanced at Fletcher and he shrugged. "Not yet Tan, but soon. Then we'll get that remnant out of you and you'll be happy again." Tanith banged her fists on the cage, "No! Then you will be happy if you get Tanith back. I was happy, with billy-ray. I was free. It was the best time of my life." Valkyrie couldn't help it, she burst into tears. Fletcher quickly wrapped his arms around her and tried to get her to sit down. "You don't mean that, it's the remnant speaking. You can fight it Tanith. Think of the good times, funny times, happy times." Tanith laughed. "You're funny Val. Fletcher's there, isn't he? Have you told him yet? You're going to destroy the world. Does he know? Does Skulduggery?" Fletcher kissed Valkyrie's cheek and offered her a strawberry. "They know. You've gone mad haven't you Tanith?" Tanith laughed again. "No. Val, do you want me back for selfish reasons?" Valkyrie thought that she may be right, she needed Tanith. She didn't answer, she walked over and sat on Fletchers knee, she didn't even look at the box. Fletcher smiled, "I'm glad you see sense."

Skulduggery and Ghastly came out of the meeting room not long after. Skulduggery straightened his tie and nodded, "Valkyrie say goodbye to your sycophantic blonde. You won't be seeing her again for quite a while now." He chuckled as Valkyrie jumped to her feet, panicking. "What do you mean?" Skulduggery laughed until Ghastly slapped him over the head with his shoe. "What was that for?" Ghastly laughed and muttered something that sounded like "Oh, I seen it on a movie, it might have been Pirates of the Caribbean or Breaking Dawn." Skulduggery looked at Valkyrie and tipped her off about the length of the drive to the airport.

**Some valith for my friend Mickey **

**I really don't know where to go with this next chapter…**


	7. Chapter 7

_CHAPTER 7:_

Valkyrie groaned and woke up. She was lying across three aeroplane seats with her head in Fletcher's lap. She put a hand over her mouth. "Fletch what was the date on the strawberries?" Fletcher checked the packet, "They don't go out of date for another 5 days, Val. You okay?" Valkyrie shook her head and ran in the direction of the toilet. She ran into Skulduggery on the way and was sick all over him. "Val! Don't you have any idea how much this suit cost me! It's brand new! Jeez if you get travel sickness you should have said something! I swear I'm gonna … mnmfamnfnamnnfafmnm…" His voice was muffled by Ghastly's restraining hand. "Are you okay Val? You'll be fine, it's probably just the water you drank and it'll be different to the water you normally drink. You won't be used to it, that's all. Hey, don't worry Val."

Valkyrie felt like crying, her mouth tasted like puke, her stomach hurt, Tanith was mad and now everyone was staring at her. She walked back to Fletcher, picked up her bottle of Irn Bru and proceeded to rinse her mouth out and drink half the bottle. 

**Okay so I am just listening to Bohemian Rhapsody and eating cheese wotsits (and singing along and dancing with my best mate – who is also head-banging, epic fail) what a pair we make! LOL **

**Right so I may have just had an *epiphany**** or inspiration xD**


	8. Chapter 8

_CHAPTER 8:_

Valkyrie walked down the stairs and heard her mum singing along to the radio in the kitchen. "Morning, Steph." Valkyrie smiled and picked Alice up. "What time is it?" "Half past eleven. Do you want some breakfast, honey?" Valkyrie nodded and checked her phone. Three missed calls from Skulduggery and a message from Fletcher. The message read "hey Val, meet me at pier at 12? Xxx" Valkyrie put Alice on her hip so she could reply, she said, "hey Fletch, I slept in, soz. Just got up, may be a couple mins late xxx."

Valkyrie ate her breakfast as fast as she could, put on her black clothes and done her hair. Once she was satisfied she went to meet up with Fletcher at the pier. He was waiting for her, his hands were in his pockets and he was watching the water. She walked up behind him and pressed her chin into the pressure point in his shoulder. "Val! Jeez, you scared me, I never heard you walk over." She shrugged, "So has Ghastly got any ideas for how to get the remnant out of Tanith?" Fletcher nodded and didn't say anything. Valkyrie prodded him to make him speak up. "Nye."

They teleported into the sanctuary. They arrived in a large, white room with an operating table; Nye's tools were laid out beside it. The soul catcher was ready and Nye was washing it's hands at a sink. "What are you going to do?" Ghastly gave Valkyrie a quick smile, which she returned. "We're uh, so we're basically going to kill her. Hey, don't worry she'll not suffer at all; it will be quick and clean. The remnant will die with her and when Nye brings her back to life it will be just Tanith, no remnant." Valkyrie chewed her lip and pointed at the soul catcher. "Oh, that. It's just in case the remnant doesn't die. If it escapes then we'll catch it." Skulduggery walked into the room, carrying an unconscious Tanith. He laid her gently on the operating table and fastened up the restraints to hold her in place.

Ghastly led Valkyrie out the door and over to a sofa that had been placed there so that they could wait. Skulduggery stayed with Nye to make sure it did as it was told. Valkyrie sank into the sofa and began to relax when a gunshot rang out. Ghastly's strong arms wrapped around her before she could do anything. She sobbed into his chest and, after a while she cried herself to sleep.

**My friend actually cried when she read this and it's not even supposed to be sad **


	9. Chapter 9

_CHAPTER 9:_

Valkyrie woke up on a chocolate brown leather sofa with a blanket wrapped around her. Ghastly sighed, "Nye's still working, you know, Val. They've been in there for hours. Oh, I hope she's okay." Valkyrie blinked, "You love her, don't you Ghastly? I think you do." Ghastly chuckled, "Yeah, I do. I often dream about her, you know, weird." She giggled, "Not that weird actually, I dream about her too, a lot." She sat up as Skulduggery walked out of the white room, he had blood on his shirt, and he probably hadn't noticed it. "Nye has finished. What does everybody look so sad for? Tanith's back. She's going to live, hey; Tanith's going to be fine!"

A bed was wheeled by, on which was Tanith. Her eyes were closed, her face was pale and there were dark circles under her eyes. But she was definitely alive, the steady rise and fall of her best friend's chest made Valkyrie want to cry, scream, sing and dance and jump off a cliff all at the same time. She settled for kissing Fletcher passionately.

**Kaysie is right; Val does sleep a lot in this chapter. It really should be longer but considering I've shut my finger in a door and it's actually throbbing. I've got a feeling the next chapter will be a short one as well **


	10. Chapter 10

_CHAPTER 10:_

Valkyrie peered into shop windows as she passed them, "I fail at shopping. I want to get her something special but I'm terrible at shopping. Hey, this looks like an alright shop, what do you think?" Fletcher looked into the window of the jewellery shop and nodded.

The shop was dusty and smelled like pine tree and new car. Valkyrie spotted it immediately. A silver charm bracelet was on display, it already had a few charms on it, "That's perfect." Fletcher took out his magnifying glass and began to examine the price ticket when she shop keeper entered, "Oi, boy! What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Valkyrie paid for the bracelet and made her leave from the shop, "You disowned me! And since when was I autistic? I'm offended, Val." Valkyrie sighed and started to sing Lady GaGa to drown out his ranting and raving. "Why don't we buy her malteasers?" Fletcher stopped walking. "Val. Tanith likes celebrations, I know because that's what you said you'd get her." Valkyrie shrugged and tried very hard not to laugh at the stream of memories that came back to her. "I've got some very good memories of Tanith and Malteasers." Fletcher nodded and went into Asda to buy Malteasers. He came back with Malteasers, Cola, Dairy milks, a phone case, a torch and goose eggs. Valkyrie's eyes widened in surprise and Fletcher blushed.

"Time to go and see Tanith?" Fletcher nodded and leaned in to kiss her. As soon as their lips touched, they teleported.

**Do Asda even sell goose eggs? And I use ; a lot coz every time I put in a comma my computer changes it xD **


	11. Chapter 11

_CHAPTER 11:_

Tanith's face lit up like a kid's on Christmas morning when she seen Valkyrie. She gave Tanith the presents and Tanith shuffled to the edge of the bed and patted the space beside her. "You've got to fill me in on _everything_." Valkyrie nodded and sat on the space on the bed. "You had the remnant for about six months. I have a new little sister called Alice. Can I tell you my digest secret?" Tanith nodded and pulled Valkyrie into a hug. "I'm Darquesse, or she's me. Well, she's like a part in my subconcionce. She usually appears when I'm about to die, or something. But a couple of weeks ago she appeared all on her own. And at this point I wasn't going out with Fletch, we'd broken up. So Darquesse calls Fletcher and tells him we need to talk, he thinks it's me and he comes. So then Darquesse and Fletcher do it and, uh, well. I don't know what to do." Tanith nodded slowly and waved Skulduggery away when he tried to enter the room. "So by _it _you mean…? Okay, this is odd. So really you're telling me that you shagged Fletcher Renn? What was it like?" Valkyrie almost stared to cry again. "It was okay. But you've got to promise not to tell Skulduggery. Promise?" Tanith nodded and pointed to the door, Fletcher was walking down the corridor towards it.

"So Fletcher, I heard you get Val into bed. What was it like for you?" Valkyrie went bright red and buried her face in Tanith pillow, Tanith patted her back. "Uh, should I regret walking into this room?" Valkyrie nodded and apologized to Fletcher. "Hey are you guys actually scared of Skulduggery? Is it how he might react?" Valkyrie tried to hide behind Tanith when fletcher asked, "Em, Val. So do you think you might actually be, you know… preggo?" Valkyrie blinked and shrugged. "I don't know, I really don't know." Fletcher considered this for a moment before answering. "But what if you are, what would happen then? Would you keep it?" Valkyrie sat up and looked around her, Fletcher was watching her and so was Tanith. "Well maybe. But I'm probably not preggo Fletch. Really." Fletcher went away to get a pizza for lunch and left the girls sitting in silence. "Val… Maybe you should, I don't know, take a test to find out?" Valkyrie looked at her best friend. "Yeah but, what if… what if?" Tanith put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "I'm here for you Val, no matter what. And so it Fletcher, we've got you."

**I don't know if Skulduggery should be sympathetic to Val or angry with her, choices… choices mwahahaha **


	12. Chapter 12

_CHAPTER 12:_

Valkyrie and Tanith came back from shopping and going to the cinema. "Did you see his biceps? It was like _Tarzan!" _ Valkyrie laughed. "You know, Fletch has a six pack?" Tanith pulled a face of mock horror, "Oh my god! I so want to see!" Fletcher walked around the corner and seen Valkyrie smile evilly.

"Come on Val. You're actually staring at him. Val!" Valkyrie shook her head and blushed. Skulduggery, Ravel and Ghastly walked down the corridor. Tanith sighed, Ravel prodded Ghastly in the back encouragingly. "Tanith, do you remember when you said you'd go-"Tanith butted in before he could finish the sentence. "Hey, look, em, we'll be back in ten. I've bought some new make-up and I want to try it out on Val. We won't be long." She grabbed Valkyrie's arm and dragged her through the door to the girls' toilets. Valkyrie sat on the table and sipped on a gigantic bottle of Irn Bru, "Val, what is that stuff? It's not alcoholic is it? Oh dear lord, my best bud is an alcoholic." Valkyrie laughed and handed the juice to Tanith, who sniffed it and gave it a taste. "Hmm. Can I have my juice back?" She reached her hand out, "You gave it to me!" Tanith hugged the bottle before she handed it back, Val downed it in two huge mouthfuls. "I swear if I see another drink I will explode." Tanith laughed and started to wave around a can of coca cola, Val covered her face with her hands and pretended to cry. "Hey, can we hurry up a bit, I'm about to piss myself here. I'm being serious Tan, I gotta go." Tanith giggled and let her towards a cubicle.

"Oh my god! I'm gonna be an Auntiieeeeee!" Valkyrie slid down the wall so that she was sitting on the floor, she looked up at Tanith. "How?" Tanith started to make rude gestures with her hands, Valkyrie kicked her hands. "Tanith! You know that's not what I meant, I already know that. I always thought this would happen at some time but not so soon. I thought I would be really old when this happened, like, like _thirty_." Valkyrie stood up when the door opened and Fletcher pocked his head around the door. "Hey, is everything okay in here? Val?" Tanith told him to come in and Fletcher entered. Tanith led him to where Valkyrie was standing. "She has news." He sat on the table and Valkyrie sat on his knee, "A moment please Tan? Well, Fletch I'm pregnant." Fletcher wiped the tears from her eyes and kissed her lips. "Don't worry Val. I'll tell Skulduggery for you." She nodded and immediately felt bad about having him take responsibility.

Fletcher stood in the corridor and looked at Skulduggery, "Hey, is it possible to get a minute alone with you?" Skulduggery told Ghastly and Ravel to wait in a meeting room and that he would get back to them. Then he raised an eyebrow at Fletcher. "Okay, I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause but I may have created a problem for you and potentially myself." Skulduggery leaned forward, he raised his other eyebrow. "I have ever so slightly impregnated your associate." Fletcher closed his eyes, expecting to be hit but when he opened them he was alone and the door to the toilets was swing wildly.

**I think this may be the longest chapter yet :D **

**And maybe the weirdest… **


	13. Chapter 13

_Chapter 13:_

"Darquesse has a plan. Valkyrie you're getting an abortion." She shook her head. "No. Please no. You can't, you're joking, please no." Skulduggery couldn't understand why Valkyrie was so upset. "Val, come on. If Fletcher's the dad then it'll definitely be ugly, anyway." Valkyrie looked Skulduggery in the eye and started to cry, Tanith was quick to reassure her. "I can't believe you Skulduggery Pleasant, you could be a grandpa, really consider it, a mini Valkyrie." Ghastly gazed at Tanith in disbelief, "Since when were you so obsessed with children? Have you always been or is it a new thing?" Tanith shrugged, "I guess I always wanted to be a mum, you know and have kids of my own. I wonder if I got it off Austin Powers, a mini me."

Skulduggery sighed, "Look, Valkyrie. Do you really think you can look after a child all by yourself? It's a bit responsibility." She nodded. "And I won't be by myself, I've got Fletch. And it has fingernails, did you know that? It already has fingernails." He arched an eyebrow. "Fingernails, huh? Do you not find that creepy at all?" She grinned, "No, I'll be fine, the scariest bit is telling you. Done." "you find me scary? Or was it just how I would react? Don't worry because I have had the time to prepare myself for this." Valkyrie's eyes widened in surprise, "You _knew_?" Skulduggery smiled and tipped his hat at her. "I'm a detective, I detect things, it's my job."

**It's really short and it's odd to write, it's quite different to what I normally write about. It's not my usual style but I wanted to try something different**


	14. Chapter 14

_CHAPTER 14:_

Valkyrie was pouring apple juice into Alice's cup when the doorbell went, "I'll get it." She ran to the door, it was the post man delivering a parcel. Valkyrie took it and thanked him, she trudged back into the living room and gave it to her mum. "Are you expecting someone to come over Stephanie? You're awfully jumpy." Valkyrie nodded and went into the kitchen. "Fletcher's coming soon, actually he's late." She gave Alice her juice and picked her up. "Oh, I haven't seen Fletcher in ages. Are you guys not as close as you were before?" Valkyrie smiled, "Closer actually, I'm with him a lot but you probably don't notice; Alice _is _distracting." Alice gurgled then pulled Valkyrie's hair and laughed.

There was a knock on the door and Valkyrie went to answer it, "Hey Val, are you happy today? Did you tell them yet?" She shut the door behind him. "Yeah, I'm happy today and no, I haven't told them yet, can we do it tomorrow? When dad's not home. Please Fletch." Fletcher frowned, "If you put it of then you will not do it, Val." She chewed her lip and followed him to the couch, Fletcher sat Alice on his knee and played with her. "Mum, isn't dad meant to be at work?" "No, he's got the day off, it's going to be a family da and I told you." "Did you? Sorry I forget things. I think Alice needs a nappy change." Her mum came and took Alice away to the other side of the room, her dad was sitting on the other couch, watching the telly. Valkyrie and Fletcher started having a hushed discussion about how to tell Valkyrie's parents. "What are you two whispering about?" She looked up, "Oh, just how to tell you something." Valkyrie elbowed Fletcher in the ribs and glared. "What do you want to tell us honey?" Valkyrie sank back into the couch. "Steph's pregnant."

"You bastard!" Valkyrie's dad flew at Fletcher, dragged him by the ear and kicked him out the door. Valkyrie covered her ears to block out her his shouting. Her mum slipped out the door to talk to Fletcher once her dad had come back inside. He stood above her, his face was dark red and he might as well have had steam coming out of his ears. "Explain yourself Stephanie." Valkyrie took a deep breath and thought of reasonable excuses. "Well, we were at a party and we got drunk. The next morning we woke up in Fletcher's apartment with no memory of that night. This was a few weeks ago, yesterday I was at his and I wasn't feeling well, I was sick on him. He took me to the doctor and the doctor said I was pregnant. Honest." Her dad looked at her face for a minute. "So you're getting drunk and having sex with your boyfriend. I'm ashamed of you Stephanie, I really am. You're grounded until further notice, go to your room and don't come down unless you're told to do so and I'll be coming to get your telly in five minutes."

Valkyrie ran up the stairs and locked herself in the bathroom. She sat on the floor and leaned her head against the cold tiles on the wall. She wanted to cry again, her head hurt, her parents hated her, Fletcher was probably hurt, she felt sick and she was scared. She crawled over to the sink and stood up just in time to be sick into it. There was a knock at the door, "Hey Steph, is that you in there? Could you either hurry up or unlock the door, I really need a pee." Valkyrie stretched out her leg and used her toes to unlock the door. "Oh, Steph. Are you alright?" Valkyrie leaned over and she was sick again but this time she knew she was done so she rinsed out her mouth and sat back down.

**I'm really not sure what to write next, please review if you've got any ideas for what will happen :P **


	15. Chapter 15

_CHAPTER 15:_

Valkyrie walked into her room and noticed a lot was missing, her telly, her phone, her Nintendo dsi, her iPod, her laptop and her curtains. Valkyrie was furious when her mum came in to see what her dad had done. "Steph, where are your curtains." Valkyrie shrugged and looked out the window, Fletcher stood on the pier. He pointed to himself the waved his hand then he pointed to himself then the floor at his feet. Valkyrie pointed to him and waved her hand and he disappeared.

Valkyrie was lying on her bed and staring at the ceiling when her mum came back in and hung up her curtains. "This was all I could persuade him to give back, he's really mad and I don't blame him." "Mum, I know I did something wrong and I'll live with the consequences. I'll pay for everything the baby needs; I'll get a job and save up. It'll be fine, I promise. And I've got Fletch to help." Her mum sighed and sat down," You can't count on Fletcher, Steph." Valkyrie nodded. "And I've got my best friend, Tanith will know what to do, she always does. Do you think you can sneak my phone back?" Valkyrie's mum walked down the stairs and about ten minutes later her phone was slid under the door. "Keep it well hidden from your dad."

Valkyrie called Fletcher and he answered on the second ring. "Hello, Val are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm grounded though."

"Tanith wants to speak to you."

"Put her on then."

"Hey Val, how did it go?"

"It went terrible and I'm grounded by the way."

"Ha-ha, so what was the story?"

"Drunken night out, now he thinks I'm an alcoholic."

"And are you?"

"No! Of course not."

"Good to know and how are you going to afford it?"

"Not sure I said I'd get a job but I've got one. Don't get paid for it though."

"Skulduggery might pay you if you ask him nicely."

"Hmmm. I don't know, maybe."

"Hey do you want to come shopping tomorrow?"

"I can't my dad's having a CCTV camera installed in my room."

"Your dad's a pervert."

"That's what I said."

"You could call the cops on him, he beat up your boyfriend and now he's peadoeing you."

"I'm tempted, he even asked my mum to starve me for a week."

"Jeez, that's illegal you have to call the cops on him, it'll be funny."

"I've got to go, he's coming with the camera guy, love you Tan, bye."

**It would be really weird to have a CCTV camera in your bedroom; I've got them at school and the catch me out on everything. It's not fair. :L (next chapter is three months later)**


	16. Chapter 16

_CHAPTER 16:_

Valkyrie woke up in a four-poster bed with white netting hanging down the sides, she sat up and pocked her head out the netting. Sunlight was streaming through the window. She heard someone coming up the stairs and Fletcher appeared at the door, "Oh my god. What is that? Is it comfy? Can I try it out?" Valkyrie looked down, she was wearing cottons and a plain t-shirt Fletcher was sitting on the bed. She sat beside him and waited on the inevitable. About two minutes later Tanith appeared at the door. "I has a pressie for you."

Valkyrie held the tiny pink dress in her hand, "What if it's a boy?" Tanith shrugged, "Then Fletcher can have the dress, he likes it." He took the miniature dress and held it up to himself, "It may need some size adjustments, how is that supposed to fit on a person?" Valkyrie giggled, "It's meant for a baby, Fletch. Babies are small." Fletcher nodded and handed it back. "I'm glad you're being normal again Fletcher. I was starting to get worried for my baby." He put his hands on Valkyrie stomach and leaded forwards. "Are you exited too, baby? I am. Are you going to be the cutest baby ever? Yeah." "Of course he, or she is, it's a she. And she's related to me so yeah she's going to be the cutest baby ever. What if it's a he? " Valkyrie bit her lip and wondered if it would make any difference.

**Please review and say if the baby should be a girl or a boy and for any possible names :DD **


	17. Chapter 17

**Here's chapter 17, with much thanks to Aphrodite Salvatore, who helped me when I was stuck and gave me some ideas. **

_CHAPTER 17:_

Valkyrie looked up from her book when her phone rang, her eyes were sore from reading for hours and she felt stiff. She held her phone to her ear, "Hello? Fletch, what's up? It is getting late." "You're late, Val. It's not like you. Are you okay?" Valkyrie remembered about the appointment and sat up, dropping the book onto the floor. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I forgot, come pick me up?" Fletcher sighed and appeared in her room. "Ready to go?" Valkyrie put her phone back on her pocket. "Yeah."

They appeared in a waiting room. It smelled like bleach and had a faint odour of vomit, the walls were white and covered with posters about teeth, CPR and bicycle helmets. Fletcher approached the desk and Valkyrie looked around, people were looking at her. An old lady walked past, she tutted and muttered something that sounded like, "Children, no bloody brains these days. Always knocked up." Valkyrie stuck out her tongue and kicked the old lady in the shin. "Oi, what do you think you're doing. Child. You boy had better get that girlfriend of yours under control! Stupid children." Fletcher nodded and apologized but Valkyrie refused to. "I'm not a child. You old faggit. And I probably have more brains that you."

Valkyrie sat on the bed and Fletcher sat on the seat beside it. A lady walked in, she had long ginger hair tied up in a ponytail and big green eyes. "Hey I'm doctor Mirren but you can call be Hayley. I'll be your midwife for about the next year. " Valkyrie's eyes widened in surprise. "Why I year. I thought it was only a few months." Hayley Mirren laughed. "I'll have to do health checks on the baby and give him or her their jabs and stuff. I'm sorry that your old midwife couldn't finish the job but she got sacked." Valkyrie shrugged, "I think I like you better anyway. You seem more trustworthy."

Valkyrie giggled, "That's so cold. It's like alien goo, or alien poo. How weird would it be if she was actually spreading alien poo on me? Fletch, what's alien poo like?" Fletcher fought down his laughter. "Smelly." Valkyrie pouted and looked at the monitor. "Spontaneous! Do you think alien poo smells like old people, I'm gonna ask Skulduggery. He'll know, or he'll call me a rabid koala in which case I'll call him a dehydrated poop worm because he's an old wrinkly person who smells like alien poo." Hayley smirked, Valkyrie grinned and Fletcher giggled.

"Are you ready to find out the gender of your child?" Valkyrie nodded and Fletcher took hold of her hand. Hayley went to the computer and pressed a few buttons, "Okay it's a… It's a boy and a, em, ah here we go. A boy and a girl." Valkyrie and Fletcher looked at each other, "Oh my god, it's _twins__. _Oh my god, oh my god. Fletch?" Fletcher stared at the window, blankly. All his courage gone, as well as his good mood. He looked grumpy, Valkyrie wondered if he even wanted the baby or babies any more now there was two of them. She wondered if he was going to leave her. "Fletch, are you okay, if-" "Just shut up Val. Okay, I just need a minute to myself." He realised what he had just said, "If that's okay." He added quickly and stormed out the door. Valkyrie stared dumbly after him. "Twins huh?" She traced swirly patterns on her stomach with her fingertip. She felt lonely until she felt a kick from one of the babies. "Do you want a photo? How many." Valkyrie held up five fingers, one for her, Fletcher, Tanith, Skulduggery and Ghastly.

Valkyrie looked at the picture in her hand, there was no denying it: either that baby had two heads and four legs and four arms or she was having twins. She sighed and put the picture back in her pocket, her phone beeped and she looked at it. A message from Tanith saying "Wot sex it is? Tell me tell me tell me xxo" Valkyrie text back "It's complicated, come pick me up and I'll explain xxox" Tanith phoned her, "Hey Val, what do you mean complicated and where's hair if you need me to pick you up?"

"I dunno where he is."

"But he was with you."

"He ran away with a black man."

"Seriously?"

"Well he ran away but I don't know if a black person was involved."

"But why would he run away."

"That's where things get complicated."

"How?"

"Pick me up and I'll tell you."

"Fine, see you in ten. Love you, byeee."

"Bye, love you too tan."

Fletcher cleared his throat loudly above her, "I don't even like black people, why would I run away with one?" Valkyrie shrugged and leaned back against the wall. She dug around in her pocket and pulled out one of the photos, she gave it to him. "It looks like an alien, it's even got tentacles. There's nine tentacles in total." Fletcher Laughed and pointed to the picture. "Fletch, those are arm and legs and there's two babies. And there's only eight, a primary one could tell you that." Fletcher counted the limbs again. "No nine if you count that mini one." Valkyrie frowned at the picture and looked to where he was pointing. "Fletch, you know what that is, you have one. I don't though but you have one of those, right here." Valkyrie squeezed and Fletcher double over, squealing in pain.

**This chapter is actually on okay length, it could be longer but okay, scrap that WHY THE HELL ARE MY CHAPTERS ALWAYS SO SHORT? Right, I'm not done yet, I'm just sooo hyper :DDD OH MY GAWD, MY DAD JUST MADE HIMSELF FACEBOOK AND HE'S LIKE, WHAT? 40! And HE MADE IT ALL BY HIMSELF! I'M SO PROUD! *tears of joy* *sigh* pmsl xxox**

**Please review, the more reviews I get, the more I'll update xxoxx**


	18. Chapter 18

**Thanks so much for the reviews. You guys are awesome. **

_CHAPTER 18:_

"I have told beryl that she's to drop in on you to make sure you're behaving, but she'll give you no warning for when she's going to come over. So remember you're still grounded and I'll be phoning you every day and I've got a new lie detector app on my phone." Valkyrie nodded and watched her dad's car drive away down the street. Her parents and Alice were away on a two month holiday to visit relations in Spain. Valkyrie didn't care, she didn't even know the people and she'd only miss Alice. But Beryl coming over she was upset about. She heard Tanith's motorbike coming round the corner and hurried into the kitchen to put the kettle on, "Hey Val, movie night at skulduggery's later. Are you going? I am, wait you don't have a choice because I'm taking you anyway." Valkyrie nodded and poured the tea. "Yeah I'll come. Should I tell them tonight it's twins or keep it a surprise?" Tanith shrugged and turned the telly on. "It's up to you, I don't know. What does Fletcher think about it? It's cute how you guys are back together." Valkyrie bit her lip. "I don't know. Are we back together? I guess we are but I don't know if we are in love like we used to be I don't think it'll ever be the same again between us."

"What do you mean?"

"I just don't think we love each other, you know what I mean?"

"No, he really loves you Val. He asked me if I think he should propose to you or if it was too soon. He asked what sorta ring you would like."

"Oh. I'm hungry."

"You're trying to change the subject."

"No, I'm not."

"You so are, Val. It's obvious."

"I'm really not."

"You so are, admit it."

"No"

"Yeah."

"No!"

"No?"

"Okay yeah, I'm trying to change the subject. But I am actually hungry." Tanith crossed her arms and grinned. She nodded at Valkyrie who arched an eyebrow. "I am never wrong."

Fletcher appeared with two pizzas from dominoes, a huge bottle of Irn Bru, a huge bottle of Coco Cola and the glowey stars that you stick on your roof. He put the pizza on the table, the juice on the floor and packet of glowey stars on Tanith's face. "Improvement." Valkyrie laughed and Fletcher kissed her. She opened up a pizza box as got stuck in, Tanith picked up a piece of peperoni and lobbed it at Fletcher, it landed in his hair and stuck tight. He began screaming and running around the room shouting, "Oh my lord jesus of hell's heroes shagging a donkeys ears and old mens aftershave santa waers condoms on his head to keep warm." Valkyrie hugged herself to stop her shoulders from shaking with laughter. She staggered towards Fletcher, who was in full panick mode and pulled the peperoni from his hair. "Thank you BABEEY!" Fletcher flopped onto his knees and began kissing Valkyrie's bump which now stuck out a lot as she was seven and a half months along. She randomly burst out laughing, grabbed Tanith's hand and pressed it to the side of her stomach. "Oh my god, it's moving! It's like a ninja. I bet it'll come out wearing a mask and a karate costume." Fletcher took his turn at putting his hand on Valkyrie's side. He smiled, his hands felt soft, warm and comforting to Valkyrie and helped her to forget about her fears about what would happen to her in a month and a half, she was petrified by just the thought of it but she hid it well.

**When writing how it wrote hoe and my laptop marked it right but it was spelled wrong so I looked it up in the dictionary and it is a gardening tool. You learn something every day, today I also learned why you don't put knives in the toaster :DDD xxox**


	19. Chapter 19

**I want to know what would happen if I combined my two fave things but I don't really know what my two fave things are soo… Robert Pattinson? Skulduggery Pleasant? Chocolate? Lasagne? The colour purple? Monkeys? Pillow fights? Slagging Santa? Facebook? Choices… choices… **

_CHAPTER 19:_

Valkyrie tried to concentrate on the movie but it was hard, her stomach really hurt and she felt like she was either going to puke or fall asleep. She suddenly stood up and headed to the bathroom, Val? You okay there?" She nodded.

"I just need to pee really badly." Tanith laughed and turned back to the telly. Valkyrie just made it to the bathroom in time (the stairs were just too damn many) before she vomited into the toilet. And again. And again. She peeked into the toilet and saw that she was vomiting blood, that was not good. The pain in her stomach intensified and she double over. Slowly she walked down the stairs, gripping very tightly to the railing, she was shaking and sweating, she felt cold and hot at the same time. Her vision blurred and her head pounded, her knees buckled and the stairs came to meet her.

Valkyrie opened her eyes. There was a bright light above her and lots of shapes surrounding her. Once her vision came into focus she noticed the shapes were doctors, they wore masks and held operating tools scalpels, scissors, needles. They were operating on her. "The patient has woken!" Valkyrie felt numb all over, she tries to talk through the oxygen mask but she couldn't. Her sight blurred again, "She's slipping away, hurry up." Valkyrie could only just hear them through the ringing in her ears. She was dying, she was going to die. The ringing stopped and then there was nothing…

Darquesse opened her eyes, she looked down at herself. She was cut open, she could see organs and gooey things but she didn't know what they were, she didn't care. She healed herself, taking care to make no mistakes, especially around the womb. She added some protection, she needed these babies. She knew they were still alive, she could feel their life forces. Colourful little things like hot water bottles, warming her from the inside. She looked around, she was plugged into many machines, she pulled wires out of herself and healed the cuts. Darquesse had a thought, what if Valkyrie wasn't strong enough, she probably would be but just in case Darquesse tweaked the muscles slightly to make them stronger, now it would be slightly easier for Valkyrie to give birth. It was twins after all, Darquesse hadn't thought of twins but now she guessed that two was better than one, even if it was harder on Valkyrie. Darquesse wasn't used to helping people and thinking about other people's comfort and she didn't think it would be happening often.

She walked out of the operating room and found she was in a hospital and not the sanctuary. Shame. She walked around the corridors until she found what she was looking for, a clothes room. Darquesse rummages until she found the clothes Valkyrie had been wearing earlier, she put them on and tried to slip silently out of the room but the bump caught on the door, causing it to creak loudly. "Oh shit." She came face to face with two hot doctors who were frowning. "Miss, you really shouldn't be in there. I'm gonna have to report you t-" Her boot slammed into his face, he was dead before he hit the ground. The other doctor stared, she snapped his neck and walked away.

She walked the corridors of the hospital. She left a trail of corpses behind her. When she reached the foyer she encountered armed police guards. Darquesse smiled. They railed their guns and opened fire, Darquesse spun through the air agilely, twisting and turning to easily avoid the bullets. One caught her shoulder and she hissed in pain, she couldn't heal it with the bullet still in there. She put two fingers in the hole in her flesh made by the bulled on its way in and wiggled them around until she found it, she pulled the mangled piece of metal out of her muscle and healed it quickly, effortlessly. She laughed at them. They were no match for her. An army couldn't keep her at bay. She was too strong.

Darquesse kicked walls down, set people on fire. She spilled blood. She took lives. She destroyed a hospital. She enjoyed it. She laughed. She laughed at the panic, the peril, the fear, the death, the sorrow, the grief, she laughed at it all. It was beautiful to her. To her it was the most gorgeous thing.

Darquesse walked up to a little girl, she stood in the middle of the chaos and stared, She showed no fear and Darquesse admired that. "Are you the bogey man?" Darquesse laughed, took the young girl's head between her hands and squeezed. Brains oozed down her face, her eyes were open so Darquesse closed them gently. She played with the brains, stretching them and snapping them. A brain was like a sponge, she thought. Full of water and good at absorbing things.

It was time to give Valkyrie back. Darquesse knew. She liked the power. She liked the freedom. But she had a job to do but that wasn't until later. She ran and leaped out a window. The air swirled around her and her blood soaked hair whipped her face, she flew fast and far. She flew past Haggard, the light twinkeled in the night and looked really pretty and she landed at Gordons mansion. She walked inside and went to the master bedroom. Once she knew it was safe she reluctantly slipped away and let Valkyrie come back.

"**Lord please help me find ma keys, or I'm banging doon ma ain door."** **I love this song, it's ancient but catchy. I've been singing it all day. Yeah so that chapter was really fun to write. ****I was gonna leave it at "And squeezed" with the lassie's heed but I didn't would it have been better if I had? ****Mwahahahahahahaha (it felt ****necessary)****please review xxox**


	20. Chapter 20

**Thanks for the reviews, they make me feel special. And thanks to Cranium mischief I keep saying sponge brains in lots of different accents. And today I was asked if I came down the river Clyde in a banana boat, what's that supposed to mean, I'm googling it. I can't believe I'm on chapter 20 already! :DDD**

_CHAPTER 20:_

Valkyrie walked down the stairs at Skulduggery's house with her phone pressed against her ear. She listened to Fletcher talking about the Jervis shopping centre next to the river Liffey. Skulduggery appeared at the foot of the stairs and pointed to the clock and shook his head in dismay. Valkyrie smiled apologetically and hurried up. She slipped and her phone fell from her hands, it bounced eight times before whacking off the wall. She stood up and straightened her cardigan with some difficulty. She was eight and a half months along now with only two weeks to go. "Sorry, sorry, I can't see my feet anymore. I'm so sorry." Skulduggery shrugged. He prodded her phone, pressed all the buttons. It did nothing. "Touch the screen. Is the battery fallen out?" He checked, "Slight problem with the screen. It's on the floor in a couple of hundred pieces." He got a dustpan and brush and swept up all of the pieces of phone then he put them in a sandwich bag. "Still under warranty so discount on the new one."

"What new one. I'll use Fletchers, he won't mind."

"Val, you need a phone. You're pregnant. And you're you."

"What do you mean by I'm me?"

"You have a habit of getting into trouble. And danger." She tossed her hair over her shoulder and put her boots on. "I'll buy you a new phone whilst you're shopping for baby stuff with Fletcher and Tanith. She really likes getting involved with the babies, doesn't she? Do you think her and Ghastly might ever mate and increase the world's ever-rising population? It's big enough already though. I could just imagine little mini ghaniths running around the shop with measuring tapes and pole dancing the display thingy-ma-bobbies. They would be bald obviously." Valkyrie stared. Skulduggery laughed like a rabid male koala that had been put in the flamingo exhibit at the zoo. Valkyrie wondered not for the first time if he had gone mad with the faceless ones or if he was already like that.

The Bentley purred and it pulled out of Cemetery road. The noise made her smile and Valkyrie had an idea. "Skulduggery? You know when I'm old enough to drive, will you teach me? And will you buy me a car? Did you know Ghastly's buying Tanith a car she seen on ebay and liked. She put photos on facebook, it's really nice but not as nice as the Bentley through." Skulduggery looked at her. "What you mean to say is you want to be able to drive like me and you want the two thousand and eleven Bentley mulsanne in silver with black leather and dark mahogany? I check my credit card Val, I know what you ordered. Two hundred and sixty four thousand pounds Val. That's a lot of money. I only didn't cancel it because it's you. But you could have gone for the gold plaited one." They pulled onto the parking lot of the Jervis shopping centre and Valkyrie seen Fletcher and Tanith so she jumped out. Skulduggery went away to park his car in front of a security camera. "You said he wouldn't check his credit card!" Tanith held up her hands.

"Her don't look at me, how was I supposed to know he was like phosphorescence." Valkyrie frowned and thought about her science lessons at school, maybe she should have paid more attention. "How is skulduggery like light that is given off by a substance without burning or heat?"

"I'm not sure but it's my new word, Ghastly taught me it this morning after we- never mind."

"Oh my god, Skulduggery was right! There will be hundreds of mini ghaniths running around with measuring tapes and ple dancing the-"

"Hundreds of mini what the fucks? Look who's talking you and your mini Fletchyrie's!"

"Jeez those would be really good names for the babies, Val. One can be called Fletchrie, it'll look like me-"

"And be really really ugly!"

"Shut up Tanith and one can be Valtcher and look like you-"

"And be gorgeous!"

"Seriously shut up Tanith. I mean it."

"Sorry Val. OH MY GAWD. MIDGET SOCKS!" Valkyrie gave Tanith two hundred pounds and whispered in Fletcher's ear, "Hoe about we abandon her and go look for another crib. It's all we really need now anyway." Fletcher nodded and they slowly backed away then they sprinted to another shop.

Tanith looked up, her arms were full of baby clothes. "Guys what do you think of this? Guys.. Guys?"

**So while writing this my laptop said ghaniths was spelled wrong and it kept trying to change it to Hadiths, I didn't have a clue what that meant to I googled it. Anyone who can google it, go on wikapedia and make sence of I'll give you a sofa. And I also had to google shopping centres in Dublin because I was gonna have them go to st james's but then I realised it's no in Ireland. SPOONGIEE BRAINS :DDD**


	21. Chapter 21

**Thank you to maximum cheese cake (Awesome name by the way) your review made me smile ;) And do you ever put something somewhere safe but somewhere so safe you forget where you put it? SO annoying! But I found it! It had fallen behind my wardrobe! I'm so happy :DDD**

_Chapter 21:_

Valkyrie sat in the bottom of the shower, she played with the water that bounced off her like sheets of glass shattering on polished marble. She was scared. She took care not to show it. Two circles appeared in the steamed windows and a pair of bright, sparkling eyes appeared. "Fletch! You're such a pervert!" Fletcher grinned and stripped. He opened the shower door and looked down at Valkyrie. "Mind if I join you?" She shuffled over to give him space. Her stood above her, she looked up. The first thing she noticed was the fact his muscles twitched at he reached down to pick her up. She stood up quickly, before he could help her but he was stepping forward and she smacked her head of his thing. "Eww, Fletch! Put it away!" Fletcher laughed. "Sorry Val. Um.. Val, I've been thinking.." She couldn't help but snigger.

"That makes a first. Sorry, I'm feeling mean."

"Okay.. I was thinking but wasn't the baby due yesterday?" She nodded. "Are you sure you still want to have a party tomorrow?"

"Yeah, it's your birthday! Of course we're gonna celebrate. You don't turn nineteen every day." He nodded and wrapped his strong arms around her. "I know. I was just checking. You've been in her for ages. Come on, George wants to meet you."

" Valkyrie frowned. "Who's George?" Fletcher grinned.

"My pet turtle; George."

"And how is George today?"

"Smexxeh."

"So not weird at all."

"Oh and Tanith's here."

"You should have told me!"

"I didn't think you'd be so long in the shower. Four hours Val!"

"Really?"

"Yeah. If you don't believe me, ask the clock."

"Oh well, I'm out now amn't I?"

"I was worried about you!"

"That's sweet."

"That's me."

"Me and Tanith are going shopping."

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?"

"Yes, I'll be fine Fletch."

"Okay, I'll try and remember that. So you're _sure _you're going to be fine?"

"Yeah."

"_Positive?"_

"Shut up now."

"Okay if you're _really sure _you're going to be fine."

"Fletch…!"

"So you're _positively sure _you'll be fine?"

Tanith laughed at their conversation. "Val's going to be just fine. Don't worry Fletcher." He nodded and walked off. Leaving Valkyrie to get dressed. She came down the stairs five minutes later wearing grey cottons and a purple hoody. "You look as un-Valkyrie-ish as ever possible." Tanith looked up, pointed and laughed. Valkyrie blushed deep crimson and looked at her feet. "My jeans don't fit me and all my other trousers are in the wash. It's not like I'm wearing a clown costume or anything. And let's see what you look like when Ghastly successes in knocking you up. Mini ghaniths." She stormed out the room and went into the kitchen to make herself a snack.

"Val?"

"Yeah, Tanith?"

"I was wondering…"

"What? Just spit it out."

"Can I be prime babysitter?"

"Uh…"

"You know, look after them when you and Fletcher go out on dates and stuff."

"Tanith. I'll mostly need a babysitter for when you and me go out shopping and to the cinema and stuff."

"Oh. Right."

"Don't be sad. You can be my babysitter, okay?"

"Val? Do you think Fletcher was right?"

"What do you mean?"

"When he said Santa wears condoms on his head to keep warm?"

"Let's ask him."

"How is Fletcher supposed to know if Santa wears condoms on his head to keep warm?"

"Not Fletcher! We ask Santa?"

"Huh?"

"Santa bot dot com." Valkyrie put her laptop on and ten minutes later. "He said yeah." Valkyrie smirked and Tanith snorted. "I'm not immature enough to laugh at that."

"Me neither." Valkyrie swallowed giggles and Tanith went red. Fletcher walked in, checked his reflection in the mirror and walked over to Valkyrie. "You're still here! I think you're head bruised Leonard by the way." This was too much for Valkyrie, she fell off the couch and slumped on the floor, her laughter jangled through the room and Tanith joined in. "It's not _funny!_ Leonard could be really hurt! Stop laughing! Leonard's offended by your shocking unattractive laughter! Stop!" Fletcher put his hands on his thing. "Don't listen to them, they're mean but they care deep down. I care about you too, I care about you a lot buddy."

**Sorry if this is boring, I still can't believe this is the 21****st**** chapter! Got pins and needles in my ankle really bad, it's **_**torture**_** :L please review xxoxx**


	22. Chapter 22

**Oh when I asked santa about wearing condoms on his head to keep warm he said "Only when I dress up." But wouldn't he dress up on xmas eve to deliver pressies? I'm telling all midgets, immature people and children not to try and catch santa. They would become mentally scarred (like me). (Santa also confessed to being the ultimate peado lord and raping shaun the sheep xD) Today when I was supposed to be doing the dishes with my sister I decided to learn to juggle with oranges (even though I can't even catch – I'm ssooooo uncoordinated) I threw them pretty high and one hit the roof and exploded, my mum just about done the same when she seen the mess – this is getting really long – so now… I SHALL WRITE **fireworks go off****

_CHAPTER 22:_

Fletcher felt Valkyrie tossing and turning in the bed beside him, he couldn't blame her; she had nightmares all the time. He usually had to comfort her at three in the morning when she woke up screaming or crying, he didn't think he'd had any decent sleep in about six months. Fletcher looked at the alarm clock, it was one fifty two. He sung happy birthday to himself silently before turning over and going back to sleep.

He felt someone shoving his shoulder and telling him to wake up. "Go away, it's too early." The someone shoved herder, it was Valkyrie and she was crying. "Fletch. C'mon get up." He opened his eyes and seen her eyes were wide, she looked pale and scared. "Whut?"

"Fletch, I think the babies are coming."

"How do you know?"

"Valkyrie Cain does not piss herself." Fletcher sat up quickly and hugged her.

"It's going to be okay Val. You're fine."

"It hurts."

"How long."

"Couple hours."

"Should have woken me."

"Do something, please. It really hurts."

"I'm going to get Skulduggery. He can drive us to the hospital."

"Why can't we just teleport?"

"Because I can't teleport when I'm shitting myself."

"You're not exited?"

"I am but I can't stand to see you in pain. SKULDUGGERY MOTHERFUCKING PLEASANT! GET YOUR BONY, FRAGMENTED ARSE IN HERE RIGHT NOW!" Footsteps could be heard on the stairs. Fletcher helped Valkyrie to get dressed into her cottons and t-shirt then he put his dressing gown on her, it was too big but it kept her warm. "What's going on? It's early. Fletcher I know you're excited about your birthday and all but since when was I a motherfucker?" Valkyrie cried out and grabbed his shoulder. "Val needs you. Now drive her to the hospital so you can become a grandpa."

Valkyrie sat on Fletcher's knee in the back of the Bentley. Skulduggery was Best Behaviour by N-dubz really loud, "Mate, shut up and drive."

"Val! I'm hyper here, I'm gonna be a grampa, I'm gonna be a prampa, I'm gonna be a gram-"

"Dude! Seriously!"

"Sorry Val. _Lord please help me find my keys or I'm knocking down my own doooooooorr."_

"Why are we stopping? Are we picking up Ghastly or something?" Valkyrie looked at Bespoke Taylor's, it looked grubby and disgusting but she knew it was exquisite on the inside. Tanith danced out of the door and Ghastly followed, carefully locking up the shop. Valkyrie cried out and kicked Skulduggery's seat. "Val! No! None of that in this car! Nobody damages my baby." He dug around in his coat and Valkyrie thought he was going to shoot her but he gave her a tub. "Make them last." Inside was the folded leaf that kenspeckle used to give her to dull pain. "You had these all along and you chose only to give me them _now!" _He nodded and patted the steering wheel affectionately. The leaf worked immediately and Valkyrie relaxed, Tanith rubbed circles on her back and Fletcher rocked her rhythmically, gently from side to side.

At the hospital Fletcher carried her easily from the car, Tanith was impressed, he had seriously improved since she had been possessed. He had become a man. Valkyrie was taken away with Fletcher and she was examined and changed into a hospital gown. "What does that mean?" she asked, Hayley Mirren smiled.

"These babies aren't waiting for anybody. Half an hour at the very most five minutes at the least." Valkyrie's eyes widened and she grabbed Fletcher's arm.

Valkyrie, Fletcher and the midwife disappeared into a soundproof room after Skulduggery had a stern word with the midwife. Hayley didn't mind though, she respected caring people.

Tanith, Skulduggery and Ghastly were sitting on seats in the corridor outside thanks to Skulduggery and his 'waiting room memories'. "I still can't believe they believed you. Your dad was shot dead in a waiting room and his brains went all over your favourite shirt?" Skulduggery shrugged and continued watching the doors. Tanith played with her hair and Ghastly texted someone. "Who you texting?"

"Ravel."

"_Ravel_ can _text__!"_ Skulduggery cocked his head at an angle.

"Yes, he uses his fingers and presses buttons on a device called a phone."

"Your sarcasm failed. And don't you guys spend all your time together at work anyway?"

"Hmmm. Would you rather I texted you?"

"I'm sitting right next to you and I've lost my phone."

"How? You had it yesterday."

"Yeah, I know but I dropped down one of the vents in Skulduggery's fridge."

"How?"

"Because I was sucking an elephant's dick! How do you think I dropped it down there?"

"I wonder if elephant's dicks are hairy…"

"Skulduggery, you are such a weirdo. Why don't you go to the zoo and do some investigating. Should I have just said that or will I regret it?"

"Mwahahahahahahahaha!"

"Skulduggery? Skulduggery, please stop dancing. Oh my god. WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" The doors opened and Fletcher appeared, he was biting his lip and looked like he was about to cry. "Why you out here? Couldn't stand it?"

"I'm not allowed in because I'm not twenty one."

"But that's not fair. What about Val?"

The door opened again and a nurse appeared. "Miss Tanith Low. Valkyrie has asked for your presence." Tanith nodded and followed the nurse through the doors and into the room.

Fletcher took Tanith's seat and Skulduggery remover his foot from his mouth, he put his clothes back on. "It appears, at first attempt, that you cannot shag yourself. But further investigation shall occur later on." Ghastly's mouth opened slightly and Fletcher grimaced. "I. Am. Mortified."

"And I'm god. Nice to meet you."

"Oh my lord."

"Oh my me."

"What are you doing?"

"It's not appropriate?"

"Definitely not. I'm actually considering arresting you for that."

"Oh. Fletcher, my boy. You are quiet. And I don't like change."

A while later the door opened and a couple of nurses walked out carrying two little bundles wrapped in soft, white blankets. "Fletcher Renn, you can go in now." He nodded and disappeared. Once they were alone Skulduggery turned to Ghastly and smiled. "Do you think you could actually get your moth around and elephant's dick?"

"Not sure."

"Wanna get Ravel, Shudder and Dexter and go find out?"

"Maybe."

"To the zoo?"

"To the zoo."

**Sorry but I seen this in eastenders and decided to try it out (it was inspirational). Well, here goes… If anybody was affected or affended by anything in this chapter (Vocabulary, plot e.c.t.) I actually don't really see the point in that now that I've wrote it but I've now wrote my longest chapter yet and if you excuse me I'm away to do a happy-dance :DDD **

**Skylair xxo**


	23. Chapter 23

**okay I'm faced with a big decision here, I the first 4 chapters of a story on my laptop from ages ago, it's **_**really **_**funny but I was wondering if I should put it on fanfic. The problem is it probably has a really similar plot to this one, I really don't remember what the idea was I had when writing it but should I put it on? Please review and tell me! Xx**

_CHAPTER 23:_

Fletcher found Valkyrie lying on a bed; Tanith was wiping the sweat from her forehead. "Hello ladies." He lay on the bed beside Valkyrie. A nurse was cleaning up blood, Fletcher decided to ignore that. "So how's my favourite girl?" She was smiling when she looked at Fletcher. "I forgot to say this earlier but happy birthday." Tanith stood awkwardly beside the bed and shuffled her feet. "I'm going to go get some grub. Anybody want anything?" She hurried away and left Valkyrie and Fletcher on their own with the cleaner.

Hayley Mirren came into the room lot long after Tanith had left with the babies and gave one to Valkyrie and one to Fletcher. They were identical, they had Fletcher's nose, Valkyrie's mouth, Valkyrie's dark brown hair but she couldn't tell about the eyes because they were closed. "Fletcher, you are holding your little boy, he weighs five pounds. Valkyrie, dear you are holding your little girl and she also weighs five pounds. Have you thought of any names? You have to name them now." Valkyrie bit her lip and looked into her daughter's little face. She felt love pouring from her like a stream. "Uh, I dunno… Darrell Tristyn Cain. How's that, too weird?"

"It's beautiful, but a gorgeous child deserves a gorgeous name, what about the boy?"

"Your call, Val. I wouldn't trust me."

"Let's see him then." Fletcher carefully passed the sleeping baby into Valkyrie's arms and took Darrell into his own.

"Em, well. Ashley Alexander Cain." Hayley nodded and wrote the names down on her papers. She put little plastic tags on their wrists saying their name and who their parents were. She had to put a tag on Valkyrie but she refused. "I'm hardly going to get lost or forget who I am, now am I?" But Hayley had done it anyway. She advised Valkyrie to sleep after checking her over.

Tanith came back in. "Guys, I can't find Ghastly or Skulduggery anywhere and the Bentley's not there. Do you think I should call the zoo and warn them about a group of idiots invading their elephant enclosure to give heed. Ooh, you named them!" She darted forward and read the tags, she picked up Ashley. "Hello my dear niece. I'm auntie Tanith."

"Tanith that's the boy, your nephew."

"But Ashley's a girl's name. Do you think Val got a little confused?"

"I can hear you."

"Sleep Val."

Fletcher put photos of Valkyrie, Darrel, Ashley, himself and Tanith on facebook. And added as his status, "Good times: I'm the proud father of Darrell and Ashley, my son and daughter. Now three hours old. Valkyrie, I'm so proud of you and I love you so much, too much to put into words xxo"

He was still smiling when Ghastly, Skulduggery, Ravel, Dexter and Shudder burst into the room singing Bohemian Rhapsody at the top of their voices. "Jeez shut up will you, Val's sleeping and so are the babies and it's a hospital."

"Val's not sleeping anymore. Where have you been Skulduggery? I could have needed you."

"You guys really know how to burst my bubble. But it's possible!"

"What's possible?" Tanith suddenly when very pale.

"Ghastly please tell me you didn't! Oh bloody hell."

"No zoo shall ever be safe again! Mwahahahahahahaha!"

"Ravel! You're the grand mage, you should have stopped them!"

"Why are you so upset about it anyway Tanith? The elephants seemed to enjoy it."

"That's disgusting Skulduggery."

"What happened!"

"You really don't want to know Val."

"Oh yeah I do."

"She does. Myself, Ghastly, Ravel, Dexter and Shudder done a little experiment."

"What experiment?"

"Don't tell her."

"We went to see if it was possible to suck an elephant's dick. And it is!"

"Tanith was right, I didn't actually want to know that. Please tell me you're joking."

"Nope."

"Oh my god."

"Oh your me."

**So what did peoples think of the baby's names? And should I put the story up? And what should happen next? Please review :DDD **

**Skylair xxo**


	24. Chapter 24

**I put up the story and it's called hairy green sardines (Even though it has nothing to do with sardines). That's for reviewing the last chapter, it made my day. Something weird happened today: Me feels like me's friend is going to appear. Me's friend appears. **

**Me: I knew you were going to appear, I'm a psychic!**

**Friend: In your case I believe it is pronounced phycooooow YOU DA PHYCO BITCH, BABES!**

**Later on-**

**Other friend: She's losing her mind**

**Friend: She's already lost it**

**Me: I never had one in the first place mwuahahahahaha**

**Everybody else: Stares…**

**AKWARD MOMENTS . COM**

_CHAPTER 14:_

Someone tapped her shoulder and Valkyrie woke up. "Visiting hours, quite a lot of people are wanting to see you today, should I let them in?" She nodded and pretended to be asleep. Something hard hit against her head. She looked up.

"I got my phone back but it was broken so I got a new phone. It's shiny."

"And hard." Valkyrie rubbed her head and checked the time.

The door opened and her parents came in, Valkyrie didn't look up from Tanith's phone, her messages from Ghastly were too interesting. "How are the empire biscuits tasting Tan?" Valkyrie laughed when Tanith snatched her phone back and glared at her. "You were supposed to be getting facebook on it not looking at my _private_ messages to my boyfriend. It's not like I've done it to you or anything, Valkie."

"Oi, Tanny tots. Or was it Tanny tits."

"Stretchy Fletchey."

"Bashly Ghastly."

"That didn't make any sense."

"Give it a minute, it'll don on you."

"Oh, stephy. Your good."

"Tanith why are you- oh, hi mum hi dad, didn't hear you come in. You're back early."

"How dare you make me a granddad and not tell me about it?"

"I didn't think you cared."

"We do, honey. And Beryl said you weren't there any of the times she went over. Where were you?"

"Staying a Tanith's, she was too paranoid to leave me on my own."

"She was right, thank you for taking care of my daughter Tanith."

"Pleasure Miss Edgley."

"Please, call me Mellissa."

"I need to pee, be back in two minutes, good luck Steph." Tanith disappeared and Valkyrie gulped. Alice reached out to her and Valkyrie held her sister close. "No matter what you'll always be by my side, won't you Ally?" Alice smiled and played with Valkyrie's hair. "So when did I become a granny?"

"About eight in the morning yesterday."

"And what is my grandchild called, is it a boy or a girl?"

"You are grandchildren are called Darrell and Ashley. Darrell is a girl and Ashley is a boy."

"They've got stupid names."

"Shut up dad. I named them."

"Des, why don't you go and get us some lunch? Where's Fletcher?"

"Away getting my lunch, I hate hospital food." Her mum went over to the cribs and picked Ashley up.

"Hey cutie. Which one is this Steph?" Valkyrie peered over her mum's shoulder and tickled her son's chin.

"Ashley. My baby boy, meet your granny." Ashley smiled in his sleep and Valkyrie picked up Darrell, she opened her eyes slightly and Valkyrie caught a glimpse of Dark brown. "They're identical."

"They are twins."

"You should have said, even a little warning would have been nice."

"Are you telling me it wasn't a nice surprise?"

"I meant becoming a gran, that's a big thing, you should have phoned."

"Dad's never gave me my phone back."

"Oh, sorry."

"Actually that was a lie, when you went I stole it back but I dropped it down the stairs and it broke. Tanith bought me a new one but I left it at her house."

"That sounds like even more of a lie."

"It's true, I bought the girl a phone and she forgets about it, shocking." Tanith drank the last of her cola and threw the bottle I the bin. "Sorry, Tan." Tanith shrugged.

"Hey can you believe the guys did that?"

"I don't want to."

"They put it on youtube, wanna watch?"

"No."

"You know you wanna…"

"I Don't honest."

"Okay."

"So you're not going to put it on?"

"What! I'm gonna put it on at full volume." Tanith laughed evilly and walked away. Valkyrie shook her head.

"Sometimes she scares me."

"Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha…"

"Oh my god."

**Okay the next chapter will have more action in it, I promise. But please SOMEBODY GIVE ME SOME INSPARATION, TELL ME WHAT TO WRITE THE NEXT CHAPTER ON! So here's a multiple choice question (You review or PM me to give your opinion) **

**Option A) Sanguine takes Val and one of the babies hostage cox he wants Tanith back…**

**Option B) The zoo aren't happy and the gang get chased by the police…**

**Option C) Tanith decides to throw a baby shower for Val coming home and sets Skulduggery's hat room on fire…**

**Tell me what should be the next chapter, have your say today via review or PM…**

**Please read my new story Hairy Green Sardines, and no, it does not have anything to do with mouldy sardines… yet! Mwahahahahaha **

**Skylair xxo**


	25. Chapter 25

**Okay so it's options C with a wee bit of A thanks to **_**fghdisj **_**and**_** Cranium mischief**_** who reviewed. ****This chapter is for them, it's probably gonna be quite weird though coz that's what happens when you mix energy juice, cookies, chocolate, Irn Bru and gid times (empire biscuits tommy, you've got 3 now!) together, you get hyper. It's a fact. I'm probably going to have to include empire biscuits in this though, and then everyone will know what it means :DDD**

_CHAPTER 25:_

Valkyrie was fed up. She was lonely, but Fletcher had really needed to take to take a shower; he could have knocked somebody out with his B.O. Hayley gave Ashley back to her. "You are free to leave after lunch. But don't forget to schedule a check-up for the children. I'll do that just now actually." She disappeared just before Fletcher reappeared. He came over to her and kissed her. "I've got news!" She arched an eyebrow. "Ghastly's gonna teach me to drive and Skulduggery's gonna buy me a car, of your choice."

"Why my choice?"

"He said he's keeping your Bentley that you ordered."

"It came! I can't believe he didn't tell me!"

"This is a boring subject, let us change it. Have you seen the video on youtube about the elephants?"

"I don't want to see an elephant ever again."

"Grump."

"I am not grumpy."

"Save a horse, ride a cowboy! Whut! Whut! Save a horse, ride a cowboy!"

"That song is ancient, and probably sung by insecure old men with only a tiny little dollop of hair sticking out the side of their head like a donkey's… What are you doing?"

"I am flexible. Oh oh wait, I am Fletchable!"

"And I'm disturbed."

Tanith ran around Skulduggery's house like a whirlwind, tiding and putting up decorations. Ghastly had agreed to help her but Skulduggery thought it was so they could practise some things kinky. He was very glad of an opportunity to leave the lovers and go to the hospital to pick up Valkyrie and the babies. He looked at the two Bentley's in his garage, his fingers traced the bodywork of his own Bentley, the smooth shape and the flawless craftsmanship that had gone into making the beautiful machine. It was so sleek, so shiny, memories flowed back into him at his touch, she was so special to him, the apple of hi eye.

Ghastly painted a hindu spot onto Tanith's forehead, she squealed and slapped the front of his trousers with glue, accidently spilling some on the floor. "What is that!" Skulduggery appeared at the door and pointed to the mess on the floor. "Uh, Ghastly got a bit exited."

"I didn't! What're you doing back so early anyway?"

"Forgot my handcuffs, don't trust you guys with them your way too kinky." Tanith laughed when she realised what he meant and Ghastly glared. "What! We've only been going out for like ten months or something. Actually that is quite a long time." Tanith smiled and eyed Ghastly up and down. "No eye raping him, Tanith. I'm going now and when I come back I want to find, no undies not being worn, no naked people, no unexplained gas explosions, no broken furniture or ornaments or household items, no sex toys lying around, no unexplained wetness's, no mess, no condoms wrappers, no handcuffs attached to bedposts, no bras or knickers hanging from my chandelier and I would like some more decorations hung up, and rooms decorated, you're doing a good job. Well done." He spun on his heel and walked out. A few minutes later car tyres squealed on the road and the Bentley disappeared from sight. Ghastly sighed and took a list from his pocket. "Well, that only leaves us two options. Be careful to hide evidence well and clear up after ourselves or get on with the decorations." He looked at Tanith who was grinning. "Let's try the first option first and very quickly do some of the latter before they come back." Ghastly nodded and pulled a spare pare or handcuffs out of a drawer. "I came prepared." He swung Tanith up in his arms and headed off in the direction of one of the rooms that didn't have to be decorated.

Valkyrie walked into Skulduggery's house, the biggest living room looked great, as did all the others. "Where are they?" She walked through the house and stopped outside a door, a strange noise could be heard coming from inside. "What's in here?" "Food, why?" Valkyrie shrugged.

"I can hear something. Something strange." Skulduggery put his finger where his lips should be, motioning for them to be silent. He counted down from three using his fingers and burst the door open, video camera in hand. Tanith screamed and used bottles of orange juice to cover herself up, Ghastly tried to un-cuff himself but he couldn't find the key. Fletcher appeared behind the door. "Kinky." Valkyrie laughed and they walked away, leaving Skulduggery to get a few good shots with his camera before coming to put the video on his computer before Ghastly seen or tried to destroy the camera. "This is being played at the next Sanctuary Officials meeting." Valkyrie laughed and went to get ready for the baby shower party.

Tanith came into Valkyrie's room, she was wearing pants and a towel to cover herself up. "Oi, Val. Where are you?" She heard the shower and walked into the en suite. Valkyrie had clothes laid out, a pair of jeans and a cute top. "What's up Tan?" "Ghastly made you a beautiful dress and you won't wear it? He'll be offended." She slipped the soft dress onto the coat hanger on the wall. "He made me a dress! But I think he'll be more offended If I hid all the condoms." Valkyrie laughed and stepped out the shower, she grabbed a towel and dried herself. "He would, so would I but we could always buy more." Valkyrie put the dress on and smiled at Tanith, who was wearing a mid-length light blue dress with embroidery at the top, it complimented her shape well and looked gorgeous. Valkyrie also wore a mid-length dress, well hers was more of a pinafore, it was tight at the top and had a skirt that ended just passed her knees and was creased like a kilt, it was also tartan like a kilt and a dark red. She wore a plain white t-shirt underneath but no shoes, it was only a baby shower so she probably wouldn't need shoes. She walked down the stairs to find Ghastly and Shudder locking all alcohol safely away in the hat room. "Hey Anton, when did you get here?"

"Five minutes ago. Congratulations by the way, I brought you presents. I've started the pile." She thanked him warmly and found Fletcher playing with Ashley. Darrell lay in her car seat and watched Valkyrie with big, brown eyes that made Valkyrie heart turn to butter and melt.

Guests arrives pretty much non-stop within the next hour and a half. Skulduggery's house was crowded. Valkyrie just sat on a bean bag and everyone seemed to surround her, asking questions, saying how cute the babies were, saying how nice she looked, saying congratulations. Valkyrie was getting bored, Fletcher came and handed her a bottle of juice. "Thanks, Fletch." Ghastly turned to Tanith, "Hey you want to go and get kinky in the hat room for half an hour, I'm sure nobody will miss us." "Yeah, I don't see why not. Let's bring some marshmallows and you an roast them."

"How? Oh yeah, magic." Tanith picked up a bag of marshmallows and followed Ghastly into the hat room, she was careful to lock the door behind them. "Let us play now. Mwahahahahahaha."

Valkyrie began to enjoy herself again when Fletcher took over answering questions, she went to look for Tanith because she needed a more enjoyable conversation. She walked around the house but when she reached the hat room a strong smell of burning reached her nostrils, the door was hot and smoke was billowing out from the sides of it. Inside someone could be heard moving about. "SKULDUGERY, FIRE! HELP!" She yelled before kicking down the door and going into the flames in search of her best friend.

Skulduggery heard her calls and ran in the direction her voice had come from. He seen the flames and ordered everybody out and told somebody to call the fire brigade, he heard Valkyrie and darted in after her. He stumbled through the smoke, eager flames licked at his coat and exposed bone but he ignored it. He found Tanith and Ghastly, he pulled them out before going back in for Valkyrie but all was silent. He kept searching, she'd had Ashley with her when she had entered the room. He heard the fire men and put his façade up.

Skulduggery was allowed back in once the fire was out, he darted into his hat room but there was no sign of Valkyrie or Ashley. He was about to leave when he seen it. Tell-tale cracks on the floor.

**Dun dun duuuuuuun, not a very good cliff hanger but oh well… please review**

**Skylair xox**


	26. Chapter 26

**I'm so happy. I got full marks on my Spanish test, oh wait… I always do! I'm not really sure why but I'm really good at Spanish, I find it really easy. I hope I did well in the English test, I'm not sure I did though coz I can't write an essay to save myself but don't judge me on that. I'm the best writer in my class, everybody else hands in like half a page and I give him like 30 pages of awesome. I'm going to shut up now. Hope you enjoy this chapter, please review :L**

_CHAPTER 26:_

Valkyrie was convinced Sanguine had gone mad. She walked into the cell with Ashley in her arms, she was shackled and it was hard for her to hold him. She clicked her fingers and generated a spark, she fed her magic into it and watched it grow. From what she could see the room was stone and very small, she wriggled free of her coat and wrapped Ashley in it before laying him down on the ground gently. She shivered and sat on the floor next to him, she let the flame go out. Valkyrie felt something cold slither across her arm, within seconds she had a flame again. It was a snake, it was on top of Ashley and he started to cry. Valkyrie pressed the flame into the snake to make it move but it wrapped itself around her arm and got tighter every time Valkyrie moved. She twisted her arm to the left and screamed in pain when the boned in her arm were crushed. Ashley was crying really loud but she couldn't see him, the flame had welt out. The snake sunk it's fangs into Valkyrie forearm and she screamed, she fell onto the floor as the snake stuck its head into her flesh.

The fangs ripped her muscles and punctured veins. Valkyrie vomited again and again, she was going to die. But she heard Ashley screaming, it seemed so distant to her. She felt like she was watching someone pretend to be her, all she could think of was the intense pain.

Reality hit her like a bulldozer, knocking her to her senses. She clamped her mouth around the snake just before it got its tail into her arm, she tightened her grip and turned her head to pull it out her arm. It came out covered in her blood, when the snake realised it was being deprived of its meal it sunk its fangs in as a last attempt to finish her off. Valkyrie wasn't going to let that stop her, she pulled harder and shuddered in pain. She was getting weak with blood loss. Once last tug and the snake came loose, it had clumps of Valkyrie's arm hinging out its mouth. Valkyrie picked up a shard of glass and plunged it through the snake's head, it twitched in her hands and flopped, dead, to the ground.

Valkyrie located the door and ran into it and barding it with her shoulder. It creaked but nothing happened, she tried again and made a dent. She took a few steps back, ran and jumped, her shoulder hit the door again and the bolt snapped. Pushing it open was too typical so Valkyrie jumped at it again and it swung open to reveal three passageways. She put her coat on and put Ashley inside her coat. Her right arm hung uselessly by her side and swung about as she ran. She put the passage to the left and sprinted, turning left and turning right, leaving a trail of blood behind her.

She ran into Sanguine on the stairs. "In a hurry lil darlin'?" Valkyrie spat on his face and leaped over the banister, she landed on her ankle and hissed in pain. She limped down the stairs and seen a fire exit. She tried the door but it wouldn't budge, she couldn't reach the latch on the top. Sanguine appeared behind her. "Know you shouldn't really spit on people, it's rude." He fired a punch but Valkyrie ducked, she used the air to propel herself upwards. She reached out and flicked the latch, it slid back with a soft click. She shoved the door open and looked around.

She recognised the place but she couldn't tell where from. After a minute it clicked, the warehouse with the secret passage that led to the old necromancer temple was across a flat piece of tarmac. If she could get into that warehouse she could hide and find a phone to call Skulduggery if she was lucky.

She ran for the warehouse, running was hard and her injured ankle was screaming at her. She heard an engine and turned around. A gorgeous silver Bentley mulsanne came around the corner, barely missing a wooden crate and twirling within inches of Sanguine. Whoever it was was a good driver. The car slowed slightly beside her and the back door opened, she was yanked inside by strong hands. Valkyrie looked up and saw Tanith grinning at her. "You look a state Val." Valkyrie seen Fletcher in the driver's seat, Ghastly was in the passenger's seat. "Whoa, faster Fletch, we got company." Valkyrie turned around and saw two Vampires chasing them. "Oh, shit." Valkyrie grinned and pressed a button on the dashboard, Ghastly glared at her and two sub machine guns folded up out the bonnet. "That. Is. Awesome. How do you fire?" A screen flickered into life and came up with two buttons with pictures of guns on them. "Mwahahahahaha…"

**Okay so what do you think? Please review **

**Skylair xo**


	27. Chapter 27

**Theturquoisejellybean, sorry for the bad mental image – I was hyper. Thanks for the rev****iews. And what cars do you mean;**** the ones in the story or the ones mentioned on my profile? Today at school we were doing badminton and I failed so bad that I had to go and play against the wall ****Sorry if this is short x**

_CHAPTER 27:_

Valkyrie tried to reach it but her arm wasn't long enough, she splayed her hand and the plug rolled away from her. She twisted onto her side and somehow manages to fit her head through the tiny gap, the rest of her body followed easily. The set of wooden drawers that contained some of her clothes pressed into her left side and the plastic drawers that housed all of her books, DVD's and stories that she had written pressed into her right side. She reached out and grabbed the plug for her keyboard easily. She decided to tidy the rest of behind the sets of drawers while she was there. She pulled out some stuff and found many things she had forgotten she even owned, she also found a phone that she'd had for two days, gone on a walk in the woods and thought she'd lost and now she realised she'd actually had it all along. "Stupid phone, don't you think you could of shown up earlier, I got grounded for three weeks thanks to you." She tossed it aside and kept rummaging, soon only her bum and legs were not in the gap. She decided she'd tidied up enough and tried to get back out of the space. She was stuck.

Valkyrie cursed and tried to wriggle but her shoulders but they wouldn't budge, her hips were stuck too. She couldn't shove the big drawers because they had her fish tank on them and she couldn't shove the other drawers either because her T.V was on top of them. She sighed. "Valkyrie Cain is stuck in a stupid place. She is stuck in her own bedroom, she has too much dignity to call for help. She may have to live in a gap forever and she doesn't even have her phone, which she confesses, she has recently become obsessed with. Oh yes you heard right; Valkyrie Cain is obsessed with her phone. If she had her phone, would she call Fletcher? She's not sure, he might laugh at her. But he is a sight for sore eyes, his personality lightens a room when he walks in. Valkyrie would never tell anyone this but she admires him. Valkyrie wonders why she is speaking in the third person but she doesn't really care, she is hungry." Valkyrie wondered if she was going mad. Her DVD player fell and hit her back, she groaned shoved it off herself. "Need a hand? Oh, is the room brighter now?"

"Fletch! How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough." He smirked. Valkyrie groaned and looked up at him pleadingly. She made her eyes as wide as possible and reached out her hand as far as she could get it. "Help." Fletcher laughed, moved her T.V and shoved the chest of drawers out of the way before picking his girlfriend up off the floor. "Why did you hit me in the Leonard with a phone? It hurt." Valkyrie looked at the phone, it was now on top of her shelf. "Oh. Sorry I didn't see you." Fletcher pouted and rubbed circles on her back. He looked thoughtful. "That's nice of you. I'm an invisible man now." Valkyrie sighed and tried to wriggle out of Fletcher's arms, he tightened his grip on her body. "You can put me down now, you know. I would appreciate it very much." Fletcher smiled and gripped her closer to his chest. "Don't want to, scared you will fall off a cliff." He laughed and she didn't know if he was being serious. He carried her down the stairs and into the living room, Ghastly wolf whistled and grinned. "Get in there. Whoop!" Valkyrie frowned and remembered her parents were out. Tanith appeared at the kitchen door. "Aw, cute couple." Valkyrie blushed and Fletcher kept walking.

Darrell sat in her bouncy chair and sucked her thumb. Valkyrie was on her laptop and Ashley was with Tanith in the living room. Fletcher walked in and Darrell waved. "Val! Val! My two week old baby just waved at me! Oh my god!" He was so busy staring at her he fell over his discarded shoes and landed with a thud. Darrel clapped. "Val! Look!"

**I've got a new school bag that says "Zombie King Bling." On it and I was wondering if I should put some Scapegrace and Thrasher in this, or Scapegraces' head and Thrasher. Mwahahahahaha… Please review xo**


	28. Chapter 28

**I think I might need to change the title of my other story, right now it stands as Hairy Fluffy Green Sardines and to be honest that's a bit disgusting. So can you guys do me a huge favour, read it and review to say if I should change the title and what I should change it to if you have any ideas. Thanks for the reviews, especially to the anonymous person who made me smile. Please read and review :DD**

_CHAPTER 28:_

Valkyrie pouted and looked at the mess. Tanith Low should never cook dinner. "Should I order a pizza?" Tanith stood on the table and tried to scoop mayonnaise off the ceiling with a fly swatter and tried to clean it with leather sofa polish. "Tanith what are you doing?" Tanith looked down at Valkyrie and grinned. Fletcher walked in and gawped at the mess, Tanith giggled hysterically and tried to slap his hair flat with the fly swatter but she overbalanced and fell on the floor. They heard the Bentley return and Fletcher screamed and ran out the door. "Are we I trouble? I've got a plan, Val accidently cut you hand off with that knife and when you distract him and keep him out the kitchen, I'll tidy up then come and laugh at you." Valkyrie glared at her and Tanith shrugged. "Valkyrie do not cut your hand off and what don't you want me to see Tanith?" Tanith gulped and matched the look of horror that was on Valkyrie's face. "Girls! What have you done! Erskine is coming over for dinner and look at the mess!" Mayonnaise dripped of the ceiling and through his eye socket and into his skull.

Valkyrie suppressed a giggle and Tanith snorted. Skulduggery dismissed Valkyrie and began to yell at Tanith, who was still laughing. Valkyrie sat on the sofa next to Fletcher and saw Darrell watching her from her place in front of the coal fire. Valkyrie walked over and picked her up, she sat in front of the fire with Darrell on her lap and began to play with her. Skulduggery cane back through and wiped stuffing from inside his inside his trousers and pulled the stuffing dish out from between his ribs. "What were you doing with the stuffing dish may I ask or don't I want to know? I still feel sorry for those elephants." Skulduggery laughed and took Darrell while Valkyrie went to the toilet. Darrell giggled and stuck both of her arms inside his skull, she wiggled them around and dug her toes into his ribs. Skulduggery pulled her off himself rather roughly and she began to cry and Ashley woke and began to cry.

Valkyrie hurried back through and took Darrell out of his arms and picked Ashley up, she glared at Skulduggery and ran away again. "How nice of her to stay for a while. In fact she stayed for ages, and she didn't even make dinner while she was here." "Skulduggery, shouldn't you get started making dinner for Ravel and co coming anyway?" Skulduggery snorted and nodded his head in the direction of the kitchen. "You asphyxiated my turkey." Tanith burst out laughing and slumped down on the couch shaking with laughter. "It's not funny, you probably impaired his feelings. Or her feelings, nope he is or was a he." Tanith went red and held her breath. "It's just that you first sentence didn't sound right, or I'm just sick. Whatever." She smiled and Skulduggery had a sudden urge to blink. "Did I say the words in a wrong order? Please don't puke on my new shoes." Tanith remembered he didn't have a 'turkey' unless there were bones in one of those but she didn't think there was, otherwise Ghastly's would have been broken many times.

Tanith stood in the kitchen and taped up the windows, the door to outside and was busy taping up the door to the living room, the tape was that bright yellow police tape that said do not cross all over it and just more it more tempting to cross it. Valkyrie stood in the doorway to the living room on the living room side and Tanith was on the kitchen side with yellow tape separating them. "Ha. You're not getting out!"

"I don't need your permission to get out the kitchen Val, seriously."

"You have my permission to leave, it's just…" She decided not to tell her and to let her see the problem for herself. Tanith got finished, put the tape away and decided to leave. "Oh shit." She had blocked all of her ways out. She panicked and turned quickly, her hair swished out behind her and stuck fast to the tape. Valkyrie laughed and got the knife from the cabinet and set to work on setting Tanith free.

Tanith sighed, every time she moved the tape pulled her hair and it really hurt. It didn't help that Valkyrie was wriggling the tape about a lot. Tanith winced when Valkyrie started to detangle her hair from the tape, she hadn't ever been such a wimp before but _it fucking hurt_. When she was free she ran and collapsed into Ghastly's strong arms. Ghastly sighed and let her go. "Why, do you not want a hug?"

"I'm going to order some pizza for dinner since you decided the turkey wasn't good enough and you asphyxiated it."

"What is it with men! Germane skeleton said the same thing." Ghastly arched an eyebrow but said nothing. Valkyrie silently explained to him, his mouth made a 'o' shape and he walked away with Tanith admiring his swagger, Valkyrie could swear she saw her best friend drooling. She swallowed her giggles and said nothing.

Valkyrie made muffins for pudding, she was going to make a cake but decided against it remembering the last time. She shuddered at the memory…

**Flashback:**

_Tanith and Ghastly sat on one couch, as intertwined as possible. Valkyrie came through from the kitchen very happy with a cake in her hands. "Oh my god. See how awesome it is! I'm so proud of myself!" Tanith grinned and produced a fork from Ghastly's underwear. "Let's taste it then." Valkyrie frowned and didn't object. Tanith scooped up a creamy bit on her fork, Valkyrie watched excitedly as she tested it. "Well done Val. Amazing, it's like an organism in my mouth." Everybody stared and Ghastly grinned evilly. "Want a comparison?" Tanith grinned back at him, throwing the fork away._

_Tanith put lmfao's Sexy and I Know It on on her phone. Valkyrie closed her eyes, something landed on her shoulder, she opened one eye and found it to be Ghastly's underpants. She swallowed and turned slightly to throw them out the window, the caught a sight out of the corner of her eye that made her scream. _

**End Flashback:**

She still sometimes had nightmares about it. She tested the muffins to see how cool they were, deciding they were cold enough, she iced them, making sure to put in no cream. Fletcher came in. "Oh yummy, Val muffins are the best. No cream? If you were out you could have got me to run to the shop for you. Or is the cream inside?"

"There's no cream Fletch because do you remember the last time with Tanith and Ghastly? We're not having any repeat of that, especially when the grand mage is here. He would probably arrest them." Fletcher laughed and hugged her, trying to steal a muffin and getting a slap on the back of the hand. "He wouldn't arrest them, people do it all the time. Did you see the news this morning? A guy and a girl were doing it backwards and she…"

"I really don't want to know. And I know it's not uncommon for people to… But they shouldn't do it at the dinner table." Fletcher nodded and kissed her cheek.

A knock on the front door sounded Ravel's arrival. Valkyrie wiped her hands and went to answer it. "Hello Valkyrie." She took their coats and shouted on Skulduggery and the lords of kinkiness (Tanith and Ghastly). "Hello Ravel, I'm a lord now. And hey! Sounds like Ghastly's been promoted to lord, great news all round! Though a little warning about becoming a lord would have been nice." Valkyrie elbowed her and she shut up.

The table had been set posh, frilly whit napkins and cutlery you could see you face in and other things she didn't know Skulduggery owned. The man or being in question came out holding a stack of domino's pizza boxes, he handed one out to everybody. And stepped back to admire his handiwork. "Valkyrie stop playing with the napkin, it's rude." Tanith kicked her under the table and she put the napkin down, still laughing at it.

After everyone had eaten Skulduggery collected in the pizza boxed and put a pile of Valkyrie's muffins on the middle of the table. Fletcher grabbed a muffin and was about to take a bite of it when a gunshot rang and it was blown to pieces in his hand. His face dropped like a sad puppy and the light exploded.

**Sorry I took so long to update, have you heard Alvin and the chipmunks singing sexy and I know it? It's so cute and funny, my gerbil's called Alvin and he's ginger. Hope you liked it, please review**

**Skylair xox**


	29. Chapter 29

**Sorry that I've not update in a while, I've been planning and it looks like it's the beginning of the end for this story. But it's not necessarily bad news. I've thought of an ending, but also a sequel. Although I'm gonna need another few characters so if you want to be in this story, review or PM me your name, age, weapon, hair and eye colour and length, if you are an elemental, adept, teleporter, necromancer of other, gender, clothing and anything else that you want to add and you might be in this story but you would be a bad guy. For anybody who reviews I'll PM you my ideas for the sequel.**

_CHAPTER 29:_

Valkyrie groaned and opened her eyes; she was lying on a cold stone floor. Her arms were shackled way too tight, blood oozed down her wrists. Skulduggery was lying across form her, his jaw, legs and an arm were strewn across the floor. "Skulduggery, who was it? Did you see who it was?" He shook his head around and flailed his only arm. "Huh?" He pointed to his bones. Valkyrie understood and fetched them and brought him to them with great difficulty due to the shackles on her wrists. He put himself back together and wiggled his jaw around. "They took my jaw because I wouldn't shut up, shocking. I'll be filing a complaint and maybe even suing." Valkyrie nodded and put her shackled hand out before him. "What am I supposed to do with your hands?" "Free me? Pick the lock?" He shook his head.

"This would be a great time for you to learn the art of lock picking. You really shouldn't be relying on me to swoop in and save you all the time. It's probably not the best for your' self-esteem but then again it makes my ego flourish." She shoved her hands at him again and he put a pin into the locks, after a few second she heard that familiar click of her hands being freed. "Thanks." He nodded and motioned to the door. Valkyrie stepped back and Skulduggery tried to blow the door down. Nothing happened. "Damn." The light flickered and went out, Valkyrie tried to generate a spark but again nothing happened. There was magic in the room and she could feel it but she couldn't use it. "What's going on?" Skulduggery cocked his head to the side, he was smiling. "Proin Nisl. How clever, I've not seen it in years." Valkyrie watched him through the darkness. "What kind of prawn?" "Proin Nisl. It's Latin for magic symbol. It stops you from using your magic, a small symbol carved into your arm but it only stays for about an hour. Hurts like hell after it fades though. Many people in the war ran out of morphine and decided to chop their hands off, it's like pins and needles really bad but it doesn't go away for days, tickles really bad. Don't chop your hand off or the tickles will spread, really not a good idea. Once we were supposed to be on a dead men mission and we drew one on shudder when he was sleeping, he stabbed it and it spread. He laughed out loud, he has a really goofy laugh, and we got caught." Valkyrie nodded. "So we just let ourselves be tortured? Do nothing?" Skulduggery sat down. "Not necessarily. There's a way, there's always a way." "So what do we do?" Skulduggery patted the place beside him. "Don't you think they put the shackles on that tight for a reason? Your wrists are bleeding. Tickles are gonna spread my dear, so you can't move around the building stealthily and quietly in your escape. So were not going to escape, we will sit tight and enjoy watching you squirm. In fact, any minute now." Valkyrie felt a tingling sensation and it spread quickly up her arms and over her torso. It was soon all over her, she laughed like a hyena for ages. Skulduggery watched her roll around the floor laughing and hugging herself. He sat back and watched. Her hair fell over her face and her mouth was open, her giggles filed the whole room and bounced off the walls.

Skulduggery began to enjoy himself; it reminded him of when she was young and partly innocent, when he first met her. He was disturbed from his thoughts hen the door opened and a shadow fell across him, the person closed the door behind them and another laugh joined Valkyrie's.

**Right so this is where I need someone to come in and be a villain and probably some others to come and be villains as well. Just review or PM me and I'll see if I can fit you in. Thanks**

**Skylair xoxo**


	30. Chapter 30

**I'm so sorry that I haven't updated in ages. I dropped my laptop and I sort of broke ****. I now creasing myself coz that sad face on my laptop looks like it has a monobrow as the eyes join together. Now I have my bad guys but if you want to you could still be in the sequel, chapter of which have been popping into my head like crazy but I won't write it until I've finished this or I'll get distracted. I also apologize if I have got my facts wrong about a character… (His name). ****Please review!**

_CHAPTER 30:_

Valkyrie looked at the person at the door; she had long, think brown hair and very dark eyes. Skulduggery tipped his head to the side and looked at her. "Oh, I was expecting Miss Salvatore, where is she?" The lady shrugged delicately. "Aphrodite is busy with our _other_prisoners. Are you not enjoying my visit to you? Are you not overjoyed with my presence?" Skulduggery stood up and dusted off his suit. "I'm just curious is all. You have other prisoners, oh yes, probably the rest of my gang?" She laughed and shook her head. "No, they got away. But you're missing all the action, better break out fast if you want to save this silly little world of yours Pleasant." Valkyrie stared past the lady and at the corridor, it was so familiar but she couldn't quite place it. She knew this place from somewhere but she didn't know where. "I know this place." The lady laughed, "You should, you late friend would be disappointed with you if you didn't. Now don't go dragging your associate into any danger, Mr Pleasant." She stuck something to the wall, slammed the door and ran down the corridor outside.

A stick of dynamite burned quickly on its place on the wall. Valkyrie spotted a rat hole in the corner by the door; she picked up the dynamite and stuck it in the hole. Skulduggery nodded and they crouched in the opposite corner with their coats over their heads. A boom filled the room and plaster rained down on her, Valkyrie's ears were ringing. She felt Skulduggery's strong arms around her as he pulled her to her feet. She opened her eyes and saw plaster falling from the ceiling, half the room was missing and there was a dead rat splatted on one wall, its guts and other organs ran down the wall and its blood soaked the floor. "Who was that?" Skulduggery checked the corridor. "Arianna Dark, she will have something to gain personally from this and she won't stop at anything to get it." Valkyrie nodded. "So what does it refer to?"

"Their plan."

"You know what that is?"

"I am a detective, I detect things; it's my job Valkyrie." She pouted.

"You just spoke to me like I'm a retard. So what's their plan?"

"They got jailed once for talking about revealing the magical communities to the mortals. They are sisters and very close, they will probably want to do now what they got jailed for but didn't do, if that makes any sense. Well Arianna is a really good fighter; I fought alongside her for a few hours once. She used to be a goody but something happened, I don't know what but she changed. She became evil and twisted. But I believe there's still the good Arianna in there somewhere, just slightly buried under hatred and other not very nice things. Aphrodite I don't really know as much about except she likes to go for dramatic, interesting things when being evil. She's quite dramatic really."

"That I am, how nice to see you again Skulduggery." She stepped out from a door to their left, her long dark brown hair swirled in the wind. Her icy blue eyes seemed to bore right into Valkyrie's soul. Skulduggery heard a groan coming from the room and looked in the door. The pope gazed back at them; his eyes were wide with fear and he was shaking. He was pale and sweating. Valkyrie felt her stomach knot, she felt suddenly cold.

She heard the distinctive sound of metal clashing with metal. Tanith stumbled into view, her sword was swiping against Arianna's cutlass, Valkyrie hurriedly gathered fire and shadows in her hands and ran off to help her best friend. "Bit late are you not Val?" Tanith got out between swipes. "What do you mean? How much did we miss?" Tanith ducked another swipe from Arianna; she was good. "They actually destroyed the moon, seriously I'm not joking they got this big laser thing and destroyed the moon." Arianna laughed. "Now, dear miss Low, we simply used powerful magnets to move the moon to where the sun's light can't reflect off it, that's how we see the moon. But now that we can't see it then people don't think it's there anymore. Between that and stealing their precious pope, people will sit up and take notice. They will notice the magic; we will make them notice." Arianna laughed and lunged for Tanith's shoulder but she blocked it.

Valkyrie heard battle sounds coming from above them. She ran through what was left of a medical facility with white walls stained with blood, guts and gore. She appeared in an old cinema, Kenspeckle's old place. She grabbed a gun from a dead man and ran over to Ghastly. "Need a hand?" Two guys with rotten teeth, bloodshot eyes and scorched scalps clung to him. Ghastly nodded. Valkyrie put the gun against their heads and pulled the trigger, brains splattered her front and tangles themselves in her hair. She pretended not to notice the brains in her hair. "Who were they? Zombies?" Ghastly shrugged. "Honestly, Not got a clue. Where have you been?"

"I've been a prisoner."

"Fun?"

"Not necessarily. No."

"Have you seen Tanith?"

"Uh, yeah. Downstairs fighting Arianna Dark." Ghastly nodded and disappeared. Valkyrie saw a familiar flash of spikey blonde hair and ran towards it. Fletcher fell over with the force of Valkyrie's hug. "Jeez, Val. You scared me." She grinned and kissed him. "Where are Darrell and Ashley? Are they safe?" Fletcher nodded.

"They're at you parents place."

"Cool, thanks."

"It was Ravel, not me." They got up off the floor. Valkyrie soon ran out of bullets, she decided on bludgeoning people to death with the gun until she found a replacement. The floor was littered with bodies, dead and dying. She wandered around until she felt a hand on her shoulder; she turned to see Skulduggery beside her. "Are you okay?" She nodded and looked around; Arianna was walking around shooting the dying people who were suffering. "What's she doing?" Skulduggery watched her for a minute. "She always had a weakness for hurt people; she can't bear to watch them suffer. She's putting them out of their misery." "Not all bad then, is she?" Skulduggery shook his head.

Aphrodite was also going around the sea of bodies with a small sphere about the size of a tennis ball. Valkyrie thought she was doing the same as her sister until she looked closer. "Is that a soul catcher?" Skulduggery turned around. Her back was to them but it was clear what she was doing, she was fetching the souls out the dead bodies before they disappeared. "She would get on well with Nye, wait; maybe Nye's working for them and is being naughty again." Valkyrie glared at the sisters. They were talking but she couldn't make out what they were saying. She strained her ears to hear their conversation over the battle still going on behind them. But it was clear they were arguing.

They crouched in their hiding hole on one of the cinema balconies. There was a click and a gun was pressed into Valkyrie's back, "Spyin' lil darlin'?" Valkyrie gulped, Sanguine. "Where's my girlfriend?" Valkyrie supressed a giggle.

"Soz but you're a single pringle ready to mingle. Tanith's with somebody else now." Sanguine glared at her back and pushed the gun into her fetch harder. "Where is she?"

"Honestly, I don't know. I think she might be in Majorca practising her German accent." Sanguine slapped her on the head, hard. Valkyrie closed her eyes. She heard him curse and the weapon disappeared from her back. She turned to see Fletcher, eyes blazing, with a baseball bat in his hands. "Don't you ever touch my girlfriend again!" Valkyrie grinned at him and he winked.

Gunshots penetrated the air below them.

**Okay, I think I might just write the next chapter right now, as soon as this one has been uploaded and I might even put up 3 chaps tonight. I honestly can't stop here, does anybody know the pope's name? Review fast if you do! Anyway I hope you enjoyed, please review and more chaps 2 come 2night!**

**Skylair xoxo**


	31. Chapter 31

**Okay so I wrote this immediately after the other chapter. I didn't wait for reviews to thank people for but thanks to Arianna Dark and Aphrodite Salvatore for agreeing to be in this story and being very enthusiastic when I shared some ideas. I've not updated in ages so I will update as much as possible but I may actually finish this story tonight and start on the sequel…**

_CHAPTER 31:_

The pope stood for a second or two before falling to the floor. His body has been ripped to shreds by bullets; his face wasn't even recognisable anymore. Valkyrie stared; she's seen dead people before, plenty of times. But never a pope. "I'll confess I pelt your name wrong once and wrote poop, but I was seven. I don't know why I just said that to a dead body but, well, uh. Who shot him anyway?" Valkyrie blushed, regretting talking to the body. She turned away from it. Skulduggery looked around, and pointed to one of the hired hooligans. "Him." He decided. "Fat people always hate people more powerful than themselves." Valkyrie frowned. "He's ugly, are you sure he's a dude?"

"Positive, he should wear a bra though." Skulduggery made actions with his hands in front of his chest.

"That's sexist, Skulduggery. And he does have moobs."

"Moobs?"

"Man boobies. He looks quite gay."

"I tried to be gay once, I don't think it worked out very well."

"You were gay? Are you having a laugh?"

"I was exploring my sexuality. And I tried to seduce Hitler, I forgot I was a skeleton and scared him a bit. He ordered my redeath. I only just escaped. Not a nice thing to go through." Valkyrie nodded. "Why don't we get back to saving the world. You haven't lost any respect for me, have you?"

"Not sure."

"Aha. Well it was years ago, I was dared to do it." Valkyrie followed him through the doors into a street she hadn't seen in what felt like an age; it was only about two and a half years. She'd never realised how much she missed this place and Kenspeckle. Just thinking about him brought tears to her eyes and they threatened to flow so she dabbed her eyes on her sleeve. Ravel walked up to them. "Dark has fled and Salvatore in putting up a fight. We have Sanguine, Thrasher, Clarabelle and Zombie eleven in custody. We're not sure that Clarabelle has anything to do with this but we've got her just in case. We need to arrest Salvatore and sent somebody after Dark, choose your jobs wisely." He walked away and Valkyrie noticed he was limping.

Valkyrie walked into the garden where Aphrodite Salvatore was surrounded by cleavers, she held a gun tightly in her hands. Behind her were the old gas tanks so she has nowhere to run if she tried. Skulduggery scanned the horizon. "There. We'll go after Arianna Dark and leave Tanith and Ghastly to arrest Aphrodite Salvatore." Valkyrie nodded and they ran in the direction Ravel had pointed.

Fletcher had joined them and there was no sign of her. "Right we'll split up. I'll go with Fletcher and Skulduggery himself." They looked at her. "You're sure?" She nodded and Skulduggery launched himself onto a rooftop and ran away. Fletcher pointed to a dark lane after a while of running. "I saw something move. Might have been a dog but…" She nodded and they crossed the road. Her heart was thumping in her chest, she knew something was wrong but she wouldn't show her fear in front of Fletcher.

They walked into the alley and darkness surrounded them. Valkyrie lit a flame in her hand and searched, she kicked trash bins, shifted boxes and knocked down fences. Nothing. She shook her head and went to walk back out but Arianna Dark appeared, grinning. "Hello again, Cain. Find anything interesting?" Valkyrie shook her head; she couldn't see Fletcher. He was hiding behind a door of an old house that was going to be knocked down and new ones built on top.

Arianna put her hand in her jeans and pulled out her cutlass, blood dripped from the end of it. Valkyrie gulped and picked up a metal broom handle; it was all she could find. Arianna laughed and lunged. The cutlass went into Valkyrie's shoulder and she screamed. The pain burned and she closed her eyes; big mistake. The cutlass slashed and ripped Valkyrie's flesh. The soft pitter patter of his girlfriend's blood hitting the pavement made Fletcher want to puke.

Arianna ran the blade across the slit on Valkyrie's stomach again and again. Valkyrie was beyond screaming. Arianna heard sirens in the distance, that didn't bother her but the footsteps she could hear did. She pushed Valkyrie into a corner and dropped her on the ground; out of sight. Skulduggery appeared at the end of the lane and walked towards her, Arianna smiled. "Arianna Dark; you are under arrest for murder, attempted murder, theft, manslaughter and I don't know, possibly professional idiocy." She put her hands out. "Cuff me, Mr detective man." Skulduggery clicked the handcuffs into place on her wrists and she felt her powers disappear. She let him lead her away and glanced at Valkyrie and smiled.

Valkyrie groaned and watched as a shape appeared above her, Fletcher. He picked her up and carried her onto the main street; where he cuddled her close to him and muttered comforting words.

Police officer Haidyne DeLaVielliea drove home in his patrol car with the radio on loud. He was driving down O'Connell Street when he saw two teens on the ground beside an alley; they were covered in blood. He stopped the car and walked over to them. The girl had a gaping hole in her stomach and was bleeding bad; but she was alive and conscious. The boy was comforting her. "What happened here? Is it got anything to do with the crazy girls or the pope kidnapping?" Fletcher shrugged. "I don't know, I found my girlfriend lying like this just minutes ago. She needs help, fast." Officer DeLaVielliea nodded. We'll put her in my car and take her to a hospital; I can't promise she's going to make it though." He pulled out his radio and reported the details.

Fletcher held Valkyrie tight as she bled in the back of a cop car and wondered if he had done the right thing.

**There's at least 2 more chaps 2 go after this one. Hope you enjoyed, please review! And it's pronounced Dee – la – Vee – elly for the dudes name. PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Skylair xoxo**


	32. Chapter 32

**I'm going to try and not be sentimental in this A/N. This chapter is going to be short. That was a warning. The next chapter is going to be short. That was also a warning. But they're going to be quite good or I hope so anyway… I'm going to celebrate when I finish this. This story has become quite important to me; I actually love it so much. I'm so proud of myself for writing this. And I'll still need a few characters for the sequel, review or PM me some details if you want to be in it.**

_CHAPTER 32:_

Valkyrie woke up on a hospital bed with nurses and doctors all around her. They wore masks and had scissors and scalpels in their hands. She screamed. "FLETCHER! FLETCHER!" Valkyrie thrashed wildly but strong hands held her down. "Anaesthetic, now." They were operating on her. Valkyrie stared at the doctor then punched him hard in the face. "We're almost done, but why is she awake?"

"She has a name."

"She should be sleeping."

"She's not tired."

The doctor didn't seem happy. They put Valkyrie to sleep again and finished operating on her.

When they were all finished and he was allowed to see her Fletcher was overjoyed to see his girlfriend in one piece again. He looked at her on the hospital bed; her clothes in his arms smelled of her. She looked so peaceful. Until she woke up. He knew they still had a job to do. Valkyrie had been fixed and they were back in shape; almost. He helped her into her black clothes. "You ready to go?" He unplugged the iv from her arm and hugged her. As soon as they touched, they teleported.

The first thing Valkyrie noticed was only a few clean up people were left but Tanith and Ghastly were getting kinky on the cinema seats. "What happened here?"

**Wow. This is **_**really **_**short and it was kind of jumpy. Not the best chapter I've ever written but it's crucial for the end of the story; now is the next chapter going to be the last?... PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Skylair xoxo**


	33. Chapter 33

**This chapter is probably going to be one of my faves. Review or PM and tell me your fave chap(s) and I'll try and the sequel to what you guys like more. I honestly can't believe this story is ending… another short chapter…**

_CHAPTER 3__**3:**_

Tanith and Ghastly walked over to Aphrodite Salvatore, she smiled at them. The gun in her hands she was gripping so tight her knuckles were white. They walked up to her; ghastly swinging the handcuffs by his side as they walked. "Don't come near me." Aphrodite waved the gun at them. She looked scared, and guilty. Cleavers went to advance; scythes at the ready but Ghastly waved them away casually with his hand. He and Tanith continued to walk towards Aphrodite; she clung to the gun. "Drop the weapon and come to us the easy way, or the hard way. Your choice." She aimed the gun at them. Ghastly frowned at Tanith; disapprovingly. "Aphrodite Salvatore, you are under arrest for murder, attempted murder, manslaughter, popenapping and the theft of human rights."

Aphrodite panicked and turned in a circle; out of the corner of her eye she caught sight of the old gas tanks. She waited until Tanith and Ghastly were close then she turned to them and pulled the trigger. Any normal gas tank would spring a leak and pour out onto the ground but these were old; they exploded.

Shrapnel and pieces of white hot metal flew everywhere. Flames covered everything and filled the air. Ghastly took Tanith into his arms and pulled her close to him; he might only get one chance to do this. He quickly got down on one knee, "Tanith Low; I love you more than the world could see, will you marry me?"

Tanith stared at him. Then she got down and hugged him. "Yes! Yes! Yes!" They smiled and hugged.

Just as they kissed; the flames engulfed them.

**This takes place before the chapter before it but I thought it would be a better ending. That's at? Maybe; maybe not. Wait and see. PLEASE REVIEW! Was it too cheesey?**

**Skylair xoxo****  
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	34. Chapter 34 epilogue

**Wow. Has this story come to an end? Yeah, it has. Somebody (s15t3r) changed my name to Slylair Henindez, so I had to change it back; did any1 notice? Probably not. I apologize to anybody who thought this was going to be another chapter; it's not. It's something else. Can I just say MaximumCheeseCake I tried to PM you but it didn't work… that was a little off subject but I am thinking while writing this so… The sequel is going to be called _ space left for title of sequel. If I think of it I'll write it at the bottom of the page. I'll hopefully be posting the first chapter today and some more this weekend. Jeez this A/N is really long. Anyway; I had this idea, this "chapter" is sort of an award ceremony (Yeah; I'm hyper). I would explain it but you'll probably pick it understand it. Oh and Derek Landy added me as a friend on facebook. He's a glee fan so I have now respect for glee; can some1 tell me what it's about… AND NOW I SHALL WRITE (fireworks go off). (all paragraphs set after Her Own Little Piece Of Lovely).**

_**MOST COMMON REVIEWER!**_

**Cranium Mischief; this paragraph's for you!**

_Valkyrie followed Tanith through rack after rack of frilly white wedding dresses. She was bored. Her abdomen still hurt from being sliced open and sowed back together again; She'd gone to Nye and it had took out the stiches from the doctors and put in its own then promised there would be no scarring. Valkyrie was still hurting when she ran or bent over. But three days wasn't a very long time; she couldn't believe Tanith was picking a dress already but her and Ghastly wanted to get married really soon. Tanith pulled out a long dress with a corset and a long train; it had a veil with it and it looked gorgeous. "That's beautiful." Tanith beamed at Valkyrie's response. "In the budget too, I am really considering getting it. I love it already." Valkyrie sighed; eight hours of trudging around strongly perfume scented shops and Tanith had finally chosen a dress._

_**MOST HELPFUL PERSON!**_

**Aphrodite Salvatore; this paragraph's for you!**

_Ravel stood up on the bar, "Congratulations to my bestest bud, your last light of freedom is tonight so I'm gonna make it your best night of freedom!" People cheered and clapped at Ravel's drunken antics. Skulduggery walked over to a stripper and placed a £5 note on the table she was dancing on. "Let's get this party started!" Ghastly came over and joined him as the stripper began her routine. Disco lights flashed and music boomed out of the speakers. Shudder ran over and grabbed Ravel's arm; stumbling drunkenly. "This my dear, it your lucky night." Erskine held his friend up and looked him in the eye. "Is it just me or are you looking fatter than the last time I saw you?" Shudder shrugged and grinned. "Don't diss my fooood baybeh."_

_**MOST ENTHUSIASTIC PERSON!**_

**Arianna Dark; this paragraph's for you!**

_Tanith clung to her father's arm as she waited for her cue. When she heard it she swallowed hard, her dad squeezed her hand to comfort her. They began to walk in time with the music; Tanith hardly noticed Valkyrie looking gorgeous in a lilac dress with Darrell waving from her arms nor did she notice skulduggery let a tear slip from his eye and down the waxy skin of his cheek, leaving a silvery line. Tanith only had eyes for Ghastly; he was standing at the end of the aisle with a grin on his face. Tanith noticed this smile lit up his whole face and was shining from within him. It took all of her strength not to sprint down the aisle towards him._

_**MOST INSPARATIONAL PERSON!**_

**Derek Landy deserves this paragraph!**

_Tanith wrapped her legs around Ghastly's waist and his hands wound their way round her small frame to unclip her bra. They were on the beach on an island with white sand, seas you can see your toes in when the water's up to your neck and palm trees waving in the warm breeze. It was like one of those sample pictures that you get on computers; it was beautiful. Ghastly kissed Tanith passionately smiling as he did so. He pulled her bra off and threw it onto the sand then he began to work on her panties…_

**I've only got time to do 4 coz I've got to tidy my room then start on the sequel. The sequel might be called Her Own Little Piece Of Me. I wanted it to have a similar name to Her Own Little Piece Of Lovely, review or PM my your thoughts. And thanks to every1 who reviewed this story and every1 who read it; you guys make my day. I can't wait to see the sequel up, can you? It's going to have a lot of GHANITH! Did people like the paragraphs? PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Skylair xoxo**


	35. 35 petition

**STOP the destruction of !**

Greetings,

100ust signed the following petition addressed to: .

-  
>STOP the destruction of Fanfiction!<p>

Ever since it was opened, had always been a place for avid fans- of ANYTHING- to feel at home. To express whatever is on our minds and truly let our love for characters, plotlines and scenarios shine through.

Now all of a sudden, fanfiction has decided to go through a massive upheaval and remove thousands of stories from its library, some of the best fanfics ever written, gone, never to be read again. They are removing anything involving sexual situations, or violence, or inspired by a song, the list goes on. And we as readers see this as a gross waste of talent and incredible material.

has always been a place for us writers to 'Unleash our imagination' as the tagline states, and now we are having that right to freedom of speech and expression taken away from us. Since when are they allowed to dictate what goes into our stories? They are OUR pieces of work. What if the violence or sexual content is part of the plotline? This whole situation is absurd. There are better ways to deal with 'inappropriate' content than to remove it altogether. What about adult filters? Age restrictions? There are so many other options!

So I'm asking please, for all us readers, writers, and fans alike... STOP THE DESTRUCTION OF !

Sincerely,

Skylair Hernandez


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